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+--- Thread: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day (/showthread.php?tid=6327)
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - Gespenst - 06-09-2016
At first I did not realised that but when we were alone watching movie, I started to feel it a little bit but hey, I did not knew that after a movie, we would go like that. I was kind a okey and kind a don't since she wasn't or isn't mine. My feelings played the part. Yesterday I was thinking about how foolish I was about getting to much into it, atleast getting my feelings to get ahead of me. I haven't texted her for one day, noir I talked with her while being in public with friends, we share same friends. I only said quiet "Hi", nothing else. Wasn't paying attention to her. Of course, maybe gave her angry glare a little bit. Also she didn't texted me too but after one day my friend said to text her and ask her to make up her mind but I could not allow myself to ask "Make up your mind" so directly. Later I texted her. Of course, we haven't chatted like we used to.
We agreed to go jogging and she failed me. I think he just wanned to show that she also goes jogging but she actualy don't. Now I am jogging alone and kind a feel happy that I am alone. It makes my head to throw away stupid ideas and thoughts.
Yesterday we talked, but It did not felt right. The way she acts is like she is a real player. I remember when she mentioned that she broke with her boyfriend 5 months ago and it was because of her. She said that she always caused problems.
Yeah, that was kind a weird indeed with all that drinking. Maybe if we met so soon during drinking, it never should have lasted that long. I should not have played so far this game, thou she was chatting with me while being sober.
She failed to wake up two times and failed to go jogging at the evening about 3 times, yes. Yesterday I asked why she ain't going to jogging (Not with me but just go jogging) and she replied that she kind a threw that idea of jogging.
Thanks man for the support.
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - LutiChris - 06-10-2016
Cool, i got mentioned in another video! Roen does tend to sound whiny but i hope you can handle that.
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - empirefantasy - 06-11-2016
today i was watching a soccer match for EURO 2016 Albania 0-1 Switzerland. We where in a square with a huge monitor, damn it was hot and so many people. Not my face is kinda red just like being in beach :P
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - Gespenst - 06-15-2016
Today I had a dream.
I met a girl, she was beautiful. We talked, laughed but later I learned that she is a dancer at strip club..
What a weird dream 
I wonder if it has something to do with my real life..
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - STM1993 - 06-26-2016
I was actually trying to join a LF2 game with Kaydo, but joined @Pudzian's sever instead.
BluePhoenix told me on IRC I was actually fighting the 4-times Polish champion. Oh crap. Needless to say I got thoroughly owned XD
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - LutiChris - 06-30-2016
forget a car, i'll spend my $70,000 on this baby or a bionic limbs when we get to that point
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - Gespenst - 06-30-2016
I've been feeling like this for some time right now. It's not that I don't give a damn about something but I just don't have amotions. Sometimes when texting with a friends suddenly I show no emotions, people think that I am kind a angry or something. Not like I can feel pain inside or something.
Have I became crazy?
From sunday's to monday's night, my granny called my mother while saying that my gramps fainted. They called ambulance and stuff. He was in the hospital for a few days. They were crying, but I could not cry. I tried, I was feeling sad but did not cried.
Today, my Mom, Dad, Granny and Aunt went to the hospital. Later I've got a text message that grandpa is gone. I was not crying, maybe shocked.. I don't know. Then my parents got home with my older brother, which was working. My Mother entered the kitchen where I was waiting, I heard car noise in my yard and I knew that my family is back. My Mom said "Why are you smiling?" Then I felt that indeed, I had smile one my face. My brother entered the room with tears in his eyes. I huged him. He was crying. I saw my moms eyes, she was in tears, so and my Father too. I felt sad inside but there was no tears in my eyes. I do not know why. My Mom also said "We are driving Granny and Aunt home, don't forget to check rabbits and chickens". And I did that. I went to check them, feed them. I was walking outside but no tears even thou everybody was crying.
Now I am sitting in my room, writting this post, with some sadness, no tears but also feeling angry. Why is this happening? Am I realy went nuts during this year?
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - A-Man - 06-30-2016
I'm sorry for your loss.
Perhaps it's just that you didn't know/interact-with him enough? Or maybe it all happened so suddenly or too quickly for you to catch up to. Either way, don't overthink it, but maybe take a moment alone with yourself to recollect and think about whatever good moments you had with your grandfather. Good luck overcoming the predicament.
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - Gespenst - 06-30-2016
Thanks man.
We were close but maybe as you have said, everything happened to quick.
RE: The entertainment/feature/special thing of your day - Gespenst - 07-02-2016
Today was the 2nd day of mu grandfather's funeral. We buried him to day.
During the first day, I have shown a little bit of tears when I seen my grandpa in the coffin. Other were crying. It was such sad momment. But later, I was just looking at him. Other were crying. On the next daybother again where crying and I was showing no tears no emotions.
I was thinking "why cant I cry? Is it possible to lose emotions?"
Before closing the coffin, we all said our last goodbyes, I did not cried while there where people around me who cryied. I looked aroud, everyboxy cried. I didn't. When going to the grandpa's grave place, I was the one holding his photo, standing nearby the hole for the coffin. Diggers where putting coffin down the hole and then filled the holes. My relatives were crying. I DID NOT. I felt without emotions. Could not feel anything but emptyness. I was thinking "Am I cold-hearted?" "Empty-hearted?" Or that I already realized and faced the fact that it's end of story for my grandpa while others could not believe in it?
Someone said that I am adapting to this ritual and events but it's my 2nd time in 3 years while participiating in this ritual..
I wonder what other people were thinking of me when they seen me nof crying during my grandfather's funeral. Is my heart is realy so cold and dark?..