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+--- Thread: The Beginning of the End [Parts 1, 2, 3] (/showthread.php?tid=4119)
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The Beginning of the End [Parts 1, 2, 3] - Divisor - 12-13-2009
Short summary:
In Part 1, the reader is introduced to the modern age New York, a world full of manipulation, scams and treacheries.
The story resolves around J.D. Cooper, a man seemingly associated with terrorists, and two federal agents:
Samberg, whose loyalty is questionable, and Stevens, who is trying to unfold the truth about both J.D. and Samberg.
Note: The story is going to answer questions throughout the parts and at the same time open new ones, some of them might remain unanswered for a long time.
Part 1:
New York.
The city that never sleeps.
The clouds moved away from the moon and its light shined through the windows of the warehouse. J.D. found the beautiful palette of colours on the walls and floors misterously calming, the complete opposite of weak lightbolts that lighted the inside of the building. He looked around. The others were finishing up, only four crates were still on the floor while the truck was almost fully loaded. When asked why wouldn't he help, J.D. replied that there are already enough of them. He was instead sitting on the floor and cleaning his gun, although he hoped that tonight he wouldn't have to use it.
A man ran down the stairs, completely in shock.
"Sh*t!" he shouted, "It's the feds! They are closing in down the street!"
Nobody panicked. It was expected sooner or later.
They certainly took their time, J.D. thought to himself.
"It's all right," a man by the truck said, "we are finshed. Let's move out."
Other men were jumping inside the tuck. J.D. stood up, but he didn't join them.
"You coming?!" shouted one of the men.
"No," J.D replied.
"Why the hell not?!"
"I have unfinished buisness. You go ahead."
"Fine, suit yourself, we're out of here!" said the man and closed the van's door.
As the truck drove away, J.D. turned towards the warehouse's main entrance and loaded his gun.
An then he waited.
After about a minute, he took out his cell phone and typed in a number.
"The number is currently not available. Please try later." the recorded message said.
J.D. smiled. So far it all went as it should.
The door suddendly opened. A man slowly walked in.
"Good evening, Mr. Cooper. Suprised to see me?" the man greeted.
"Not at all, agent Samberg. I never believed you were dead."
"Your intuition never lets you down, does it? And I guess you know why am I here."
"I do."
"Mind telling me how it went, then?"
"According to our agreement. They are terminated. All of them."
"You never cease to surprise me. To betray your associates in such coldblood manner..."
"They were terrorists. They ment nothing to me. Now, about my payment..."
Samberg quickly took out his gun and pointed it towards J.D.
"I actually have a theory on my own." He started to slowly walk towards J.D. His footsteps echoed around the quiet warehouse.
"Do you?"
"Yes. What I believe is that you didn't plant that bomb in the van. And your men aren't dead. They might be as well hidden around here and waiting to ambush us."
"You can either believe me or not. Your call."
"Then I'll go with not believing you. I never thought you had the guts to do this anyway."
"So, what are you going to do? Shoot me?" J.D. laughed.
"In the leg, yes. Just so you won't think of escaping."
J.D. put his hand into his pocket and pressed a button on his cellphone. One of the crates, that was left behind after the truck had driven away, suddenly exploded.
"Why is he in so long?" one of the agents, waiting outside the warehouse, complained. "He said Cooper was willing to cooperate."
"Don't doubt him," another agent said. "His way was always the right one so far."
"I trust him, but I don't trust Cooper. His proposal was too good to be true."
"Actually you have a point there," the agent said slowly. When he recalled Cooper's file he had read before, he knew that he couldn't be just blindly trusted. "We should sent some guys in. One can never be careful enough."
A cell phone ringed. The agent answered it.
"Stevens. Speak up."
/.../
After the conversation was finished, agent Stevens loaded his gun.
"What's up?" the other agent asked curiously.
"Just heard disturbing news. Can I trust you?"
"Of course, just tell me what the hell is happening!"
Before he could answer, a bang was heard from the warehouse. The agent could clearly see how surprised Stevens was. The latter then started to run towards the warehouse. It has begun, he thought to himself.
"No time to explain. Follow me."
Samberg reflexively threw himself on the ground. But that was a mistake however, as the explosion was only ment for distraction. J.D. had more than enough time to take out his gun.
"The tables are turned, agent Samberg."
"Don't think so. I am not alone."
"What difference does this make? Your associates should have enough evidence by now. You won't be trusted anymore."
"So you know about it."
"No sh*t, Sherlock. Why did you think I suddenly changed my mind and asked to cooperate? I just wanted to bring you down, and so far it's working perfectly."
"So are you going to kill me? Or what?"
"Maybe just shoot you in the leg." J.D. laughed.
Stevens and the other agent brought down the warehouse door, but when they entered, the place was empty.
"What the f*ck? Where are they?" the surprised agent shouted.
A red spot was lying on the floor, catching Stevens's attention. He immediately realized what happened.
"Blood. There're darn blood drips all over the place!"
The two agents followed the blood trail across the warehouse, only to see that it dissapeared near the south wall.
How the hell did those two got away so fast? Whose blood is this? Who to trust? Samberg or Cooper?
For Stevens, answering these now became top priority.
RE: The Beginning of the End [Part 1] - Sharkitoon - 12-13-2009
Wow, I'm amazed.I can't wait for part 2.You sure know how to make readers hooked up in the story.
"You never cease to suprise me. To betray your associates in such coldblood manner..."
The word surprise is spelled wrong, remember to check your story for spelling mistakes after you post each part,
nothing's worst then a typo.But you did really good.Anyway who is J.D.?
My guess, an agent?
RE: The Beginning of the End [Part 1] - Peacelover - 12-16-2009
yea, this is amazing, i see you and sharkitoon is pretty good writers.
But sharkitoon lack of feelings and small details, i can see you have the
potential to become an author.Don't worry about the 'sh*t' word.
It's okay to put it there because it's not directed to anybody,
When u put the * there, it makes the story sort of unfocused.
RE: The Beginning of the End [Part 1] - Divisor - 12-16-2009
Actually it censores swear words automatically, so sadly I can't do anything about it....
And thanks for your comments, now I'll surely continue with writing
RE: The Beginning of the End [Part 1] - snorsorbet - 12-16-2009
Quote:Don't worry about the 'sh*t' word.
It's okay to put it there because it's not directed to anybody,
When u put the * there, it makes the story sort of unfocused.
There is a word filter that automaticly adds the "*" to some swearings, like "f***", "sh*t" etc.
RE: The Beginning of the End [Part 1] - -TitaniumFist- - 12-17-2009
awsome story
this is the first time i read a long post like this one, expect the Forum Rules ^^
RE: The Beginning of the End [Part 1] - Divisor - 01-12-2010
Short summary:
The mind game between Samberg and Cooper carries on, although Samberg unexpectedly gains the upper hand.
Meanwhile, Stevens and his companion begin to reveal the background behind the events that happened and are yet to happen.
Part 2:
"You awake?"
J.D. opened his eyes. His vision was blurry as if a dense fog was right in front of his eyes. He groaned. The head still hurt like hell. But although his foggy eyesight and an annoying headache, he could see a head leaning over him. And he knew exactly who it was.
"Don't move. Got a gun at your balls. Don't try anything stupid."
No problem, J.D. thought to himself. Can't do anything even if I wanted to. He tried to recall what happened, but his memory was as blurry as his eyesight. He remembered Samberg lying on the floor and him pointing a gun at him. And then...sudden pain in the back of his head...he fell to the ground...and then apparently passed out.
"You said you wanted to finish this. All right, let's do it. I am here. You are here. Just the two of us." Samberg's voice echoed inside J.D.'s head.
"You sure? If I remember correctly, you weren't the one who smacked me in the head."
Samberg grinned. "True, true. But don't worry about him. He's just an assistant. He plays no role in our conflict."
"Is that so? Who is he anyway? Not one of the feds, I'm positive."
"Once again you are correct. But I told you not to worry about him. He's not around right now."
J.D. concluded that he would achieve nothing if he keeped asking about the accomplice. The assistant would have to wait. Samberg is the main problem now. Distracting with chatting might work, J.D. thought. I need to think of a plan. And a damn good one. So he started talking:
"I see. So how exactly are we going to settle this. As far as I see it, you are in a superior position."
"Of course. This is not football, there isn't such thing as fairplay. I have to silence you before you hurt my reputation even more."
"The damage has already been done. Nobody will believe you. Even if you kill me right now, you have already lost. Game over."
"Sorry to say, but this time, you failed." Samberg said and took out his cell phone.
"F*ck," the agent complained, "They got away. Damn."
"We have no choice to look for clues. We need to track them down." Stevens said and crouched near the last blood drop.
"Yeah, I'll call some backup."
"Don't." Stevens suddenly said.
"Why not?" the agent asked, surprised. He didn't get a response.
"What is going on? I need to know."
Stevens stood up and faced the agent.
"Al right. But remember, all you're going to hear is highly classified."
"Got it."
"As you know, I received a phone call. It was anonymus, but what matters is what it said."
"What?"
"He...said he's got evidence against agent Samberg."
"W-what?"
"And he said that I should meet him right away."
"Where?"
"In this warehouse."
Half of a minute passed, before the agent could respond.
"It was J.D. Cooper, right?"
"I suspect so, yes."
"So he's got Samberg! We need to find him! Fast!"
"That's the problem. They are gone."
"Why? Why is it strange?"
"Think about it. Cooper phoned and said that we should come to the warehouse right away. We come here, and they are both gone. Why would he take Samberg and escape?"
"Now when you mention it..."
"It doesn't add up. My theory is that Samberg took control somehow. But this opens another problem. Why would Samberg escape? Unless..."
"...he's got something to hide. So there is something about it."
"Yeah. That's why we have to find them. Get to work."
"What are you talking about?" J.D. was surprised. Samberg said that last sentence with such self-confidence, that it was almost frightening. Could he have figured it out, J.D. thought to himself, trying to maintain the calmest face possible.
Samberg didn't respond. He was still busy with his cell phone. Damn, J.D. thought, if he knows, then I have to get out of here. As soon as possible.
"Ah, got it." Samberg said queitly. He then turned towards J.D.
"You bluffed. I know all about your little scam." he said with a creepy smile on his face. He then pressed one of the buttons.
"Stevens. Speak up." the voice was heard through the phone's speaker.
That's...sh*t! J.D. started to fell very uneasy.
"I have got evidence against agent Gary Samberg."
"What?" Stevens's voice shouted, surprised. "What are you talking about? Who are you?!"
"Meet me at the warehouse. Right now."
"..."
The conversation ended. J.D. couldn't remain calm anymore. It was over. For him.
"You've made a big mistake, f*cking with me. I always try to be one step ahead of everyone I cross my path with. That's why I am so succesful in my job." Samberg put the cell back into his pocket
"You recorded the darn conversation."
"I keep my subordinates on a short leash. In case something like this would happen. You know, I was really surprised back then."
"When?"
"When you told me you know about me and my little secret. But you should have thought this another way. You didn't really have any evidence. You held me on gunpoint, waiting for Stevens to come and then tell him everything. Bad move."
"So I am dead now, right?"
"So to speak. Just another thing has to be done first."
"And what is that?"
"You asked me before where my associate was."
"Yes, so what?"
"I'll tell you where he is. He's out there, hunting your guy."
"My guy?"
"Don't act stupid. It wasn't you who phoned Stevens, it's obvious as day and night."
"He'll never find him."
"Think again."
"Agent Stevens?"
"What?"
"Was there any controversies about agent Samberg before? I mean, if Cooper has evidence, what could it be connected with?"
Stevens already anticipated that kind of question.
"Yes, there was. Have you ever heard of something called Operation Rain?"
"No, don't think so."
"I'm not surprised. It's classified and nobody talks about it anymore."
"What was it about?"
"It was the first time when we came in contact with a certain terrorist group."
"You mean this one? The one Cooper seemingly terminated?"
"Yes. Cooper was involved with them too. And Gary Samberg lead our strike team."
"What happended?"
"We raided their base. Turned out it was an ambush, we were caught in a violent shootout, lost a lot of guys, but they got it pretty hard too. Anyway they made their escape and all we could do is arrest the wounded that were left behind. In short, it was a failure. At least that's what they made us think."
"Who?"
"The superiors. Samberg led our squad, yes, but there were others above him too. Anyway, Samberg claimed that the survivors didn't reveal anything."
"So?"
"So, we should have been back on track after Operation Rain, still seatching for those guys. But instead, the case got closed."
"What the hell? Why?"
"That's the catch. We never found out. It seemed strange, sure, but I didn't question it very much back then."
"So the captives talked after all..."
"Yeah. And this info might have lead to all this."
Smells like a conspiracy, Stevens was thinking while he looked around the warehouse, and I don't like it. Feels like all this is bigger than any of us.
RE: The Beginning of the End [Parts 1, 2] - Divisor - 09-10-2010
Short summary:
The conversation between Cooper and Samberg reveals unexpected truth about both of them. Meanwhile, Stevens and the agent obtain important clues about the suspects' whereabouts, but do not know that they are being tracked as well.
Part 3:
»So? Are you going to kill me or what? I hate waiting.«
»You might not believe it, but so do I. It's not my fault if that a**hole takes his time. The problem is that before I kill you, I have to make sure that all involved are dead. Including Stevens & Co.«
»Kill all those involved, eh? Not the first time you did that, am I right?«
Samberg remained quiet.
»Come on, talk to me. Aren't you going to kill me anyway?«
»Well, since you already know, why not? Let's talk then.«
»What I'd like to know is, how did you pull it off? Didn't they have a hyper-advanced security system or something like that?«
»You are clearly forgetting my position in the agency. For someone with my clearance, overriding the system was a piece of cake.«
»Well, but since you are one of the rare people with such authorization, how come nobody suspected you?«
Samberg grinned. J.D. knew that look. It meant that he's proud of himself, a trait so typical for him. He also knew that Samberg couldn't resist the temptation to tell him. And he was right.
»I don't want to brag, but… it was genius, yet so simple.«
»Meaning…?«
»I simply framed someone else. I planted some evidence pointing to another agent, and bingo! They caught him and executed him, as far as I know.«
»Executed? Wow, that is a bit…drastic, don't you think?«
»Nope. Disposing of material witnesses in an important terrorrist case is high treason, am I right? They did what they had to. The one who killed the captives was clearly invloved with them and did not want them to talk. So he silenced them. The agency executives could not let a man like this to be alive any longer. Since they could not connect him to the group, they silenced him as well.«
»You truly are a manipulative son of a b*tch, Samberg.«
»I'm flattered. But did I have any choice? It's kill or be killed, Cooper. I covered up every lead that pointed to me and now I'm going to tie up the last loose end. You.«
***************
»Here, boss. I got something.«
Stevens stood up and walked towards his fellow agent. It's about time we got something, he thought to himself.
»What is it?«
»This.« The agent pointed on the wall. »It's a small switch here. It is easy to miss it.«
»Press it, then.«
The agent pressed the button and a piece of the »wall« pulled itself up like a garage door.
»Nice,« Stevens said »A door, disguised as a fake wall. A perfect emergency exit.«
The two agents stepped outside.
»Looks like a car was parked here,« Stevens said and crouched above the dark grey markings on the concrete. »And they left in a hurry.«
»Samberg?« the agent asked.
»Seems so. Damn, they could be miles away by now. And we don't even know which direction they went. And there's another thing.«
»Which is?«
»Let's assume Cooper waited for Samberg with an intent of capturing him. He had a plan, which involved that explosion. But at some point, the tables have turned and Samberg captured him. Even if Samberg is a trained agent, I don't think he was able to overpower Cooper by himself.«
»So he had an accomplice?«
»Yes, I believe so. Samberg probably anticipated Cooper having a plan, so he left an assistant outside with a vehicle. When it exploded, the assistant knew there was something going on, went in there and together they have captured Cooper and subsequently escaped.«
»Makes sense, but where is that assistant now?«
»Who knows? Maybe he is with Samberg, maybe not. He might be as well stalking us. Which means we have to be careful. Very careful.«
Suddenly, the agent's phone rang.
***************
»So…what are you going to do when you finish this?«
Samberg turned around and put his cellphone back onto his pocket.
»What kind of a question is that?«
»Just interested. Are you going to remain in the agency, pretending that everything is nice and heavenly?«
»bullsh*t. I am going to quit, right after I clean this up. I already made enough money to secure my well being until I die.«
»Dirty money, that is.«
»Well of course. And you are not the one to talk. It's not like your job is legal, either.«
»Believe it or not, terrorism isn't really my thing.«
»Yeah, right.« Samberg laughed. »Then you were in this warehouse by accident, weren't you? And at that base, back then.«
»Oh, you mean Operation 'Rain', or whatever your creative minds called it?«
»Yes. What were you doing there if 'terrorism isn't your thing'? Baking cookies?«
»Investigating.«
»Investiganting? What? For whom?«
»If I tell you, then I'll have to kill you.« J.D. smiled. If this works, he thought, then I'm back in the game.
»Cut the crap. Tell me or else I'll shoot you where you sit.«
»Fine, fine, relax. I'm not really a terrorist, you know. I never was. I work for 'him', actually.«
J.D. was eager to see the reaction on Samberg's face when he slowly pronounced the word »him«. And he was not disappointed. Samberg suddenly got a strange look, as if he was scared of something. But it only lasted for a second.
»bullsh*t. You are bluffing again, aren't you? I'm tired of your crap. Can you give me one reason not to kill you right away?«
»Yeah. If you kill me, you'll never know.« J.D. winked. And it worked. Samberg lowered his gun and his face made it obvious that he doesn't know what to do next. Completely opposite for J.D., though. He knew exactly how to proceed, no matter what Samberg does. Except if he shoots him, of course.
»How the f*ck should I know that you are not lying…again?« Samberg said, with a feeling of rage in his voice.
»You don't. But my associate does. Which means, if you have him killed, you won't find out.«
Samberg hesitated. He then took out his cellphone.
»It's me.«
/…/
»Change in plans. Don't kill him. I repeat, DO NOT KILL HIM.«
/…/
»Yeah, capture him alive.«
/…/
»I don't care what needs to be done. I WANT HIM ALIVE. As soon as possible! While you're at it, take care of Stevens too.«
***************
»Who is it?« Stevens asked.
»The Director.« The agent showed Stevens the caller ID.
»The Director? Why the hell doesn't she contact me?« Stevens checked his pockets, but his cell wasn't there. Damn, he thought to himself, I must have dropped it somewhere on the way.
»Do you want to take this?« The agent asked.
»No, it's fine. You'll be a Senior Field Agent soon, you need to learn speaking with executives. And you don't want to keep the Director waiting, do you?«
The agent answered his phone.
»Agent McBrown speaking.«
/…/
»Yes. What do we do?«
/…/
»Are you telling me to proceed with Plan B?«
/…/
»We'd need special authorization for such actions.«
/…/
»Yes. I understand.«
McBrown put away his cell. He seemed uneasy, and Stevens could figure why. They always had two procedures, or two »plans«. Plan A and Plan B. Plan A was what they were doing at the moment. Investigating. Plan B, however, was far more serious. It involved rather military actions than regular detective work. The Director cutting off the investigation like that could only mean one thing: they found Samberg's location, and it was time for an assault.
»Where?« he asked. It seemed weird that they located Samberg that quick. Stevens only informed the Director an hour ago, when they entered the warehouse.
»Pier 43. The target vehicle is a black SUV.«
»Roger that. Let's go.«
RE: The Beginning of the End [Parts 1, 2, 3] - Reaper - 09-12-2010
You know, I always find it interesting how you can write chapters about as long as the chapters of other guys with almost only talking. If you had some descriptions and insights (those could really be useful from time to time) in it, you'd get close to usual chapters in books. Also, the split phone conversation was a brilliant idea.
Not much I could remark here. As for everyone else, there are a few tenses errors (very few) and one or two others, but that's pretty much it. You somehow manage to get a story interesting without much happening in it.
One thing maybe. In the beginning, Samberg feels pretty much superior to Cooper. I guess he shouldn't ask him "am I right?" then. Asking for approval kind of destroys that superiority. Might only be me, though.
RE: The Beginning of the End [Parts 1, 2, 3] - Zabobula - 09-12-2010
There's alot of stories involving NY going on here lol. Is it because 9/11 was yesterday?
But seriously...good story dude.