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Oliver's short stories - oliveryungo - 07-22-2010

Weird random stories shall be posted here!

LF2 Prologue (Click to View)
Duck of Great Justice (Click to View)
Dark Days of LFE (Click to View)



RE: LF2 Prologue - Divisor - 07-22-2010

Wow...you have a way with words, don't you? :)

I really liked the thoughts about evil in the beginning, it fits perfectly. However, I'd like to see some elaborating on how that evil became Julian.
Basicly, I want you to explain the inexplicable :D

Other than that, I really like it.


RE: LF2 Prologue - oliveryungo - 07-22-2010

If there's one thing I completely fail at, it's making up a plot. The current story I'm working on is actually based on something I dreamed, and it's not too good a plot. Unfortunately, it's only about 5% (or even less) done, and it's still 1500 words. This is going to be looong.
Anyway, a probably nutcasey idea on how Julian formed-

Julian blah (Click to View)
Blah, blah, blah, I know the descriptions don't fit perfectly well together, but whatever.


RE: LF2 Prologue - Reaper - 07-22-2010

The first part is very nice, somehow. A bit pathetic from time to time (I'm not talking about the first few sentences, I really like those), but nice nonetheless. A little grammar error: ...and ruling it with a savage dictatorship.
The second part would be good standing alone, but it just doesn't really befit the first one. First of all, it's somewhere between humorous and zynic (China) instead of dark and pathetic. Second of all, you've described Julian as the universal evil but here he seems to be just an evil, the evil of this conflict. China is just so small compared to the universe...
tl;dr: Good story, but try to more or less stick to a special style for the story. Some parts can be more funny, some can be rather dark, but the reader should feel them as a whole.


RE: LF2 Prologue - oliveryungo - 07-22-2010

I did say in previous post that the description of Julian in that post differs from the one in my first one. Heck, I was absolutely bored, and had 10 minutes to kill before I needed to do something, so I wrote this thingy. The China bit- well, I was using it as an example. But I generally like a bit of humor in my works. Grammar error-Damn, I didn't see that. That's more proof that Word is worthless. Also, I said that the second bit was 'nutcasey'. It means 'spontaneous writing' in my terms, so don't take the second bit seriously. I wrote the second bit in half the time (an unbelievable 5 minutes!!).
Now, I need another idea for a story...hrm....


RE: LF2 Prologue - Divisor - 07-22-2010

(07-22-2010, 11:51 AM)oliveryungo Wrote:  Now, I need another idea for a story...hrm....
Epilogue?
Each hero's backstory?


RE: LF2 Prologue - oliveryungo - 07-23-2010

Well, yeah, but as I said, I need at least a backbone for me to write anything, not just a vague idea :(
I think I'll start writing something non-LF2 related until I come up with something (or you guys out there come up with something).
So basically, instead of 'Char prologue', I need something along the lines of 'He does this, blah blah, he is a blah blah, he does this because of that, blah blah'. And I (hopefully) will be able to develop on that. My originality sucks bad.
Waiting for Somin to give permission to put another story I made...


RE: Oliver's short impulse stories - oliveryungo - 08-14-2010

I saw Alec leave another message on a bot's siggy and I decided to make another short story. From now on, other mini-stories will also be posted here. No, the LFE chronicles is not considered short (at least not by me).


RE: Oliver's short stories - Alectric - 08-14-2010

i lol'd

SPAM!!!

that's how i would act in real life too! :D


RE: Oliver's short stories - Ascor - 08-14-2010

"Time Spent Online: 10 Seconds"
Holy sh*t that was fast...