LF Against The Evils recommendations

[Deep]

Hello! If you were/are following my LF Against The Evils series, (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPSPfiR...j1w/videos), I have the continuation story of Chapter 6, so please tell if its good or recommend a story of yours! 

SPOILER ALERT (Click to View)

>>> Davis and Rudolf are on the left side with Julian on the right. Julian attacks a big ball to them, Davis manages to save himself from that energy blast but unfortunately, that blast hits Rudolf throwing him out of the screen. Davis tries to fight with Julian but fails. The fight lasted with Davis lying on the ground and Julian in the air charging an energy blast to finish him. However, when he releases the ball, he couldn't believe his eyes, the ball exploded but Davis was not there. He got even more surprised when he saw that Rudolf is not there too. When he turned to his right, he saw three fighters, one with dark green shirt, other with a light green and the the third one equipped with a steel armor. Yes, they were Woody, Dennis and Louis with Rudolf and Davis lying on the ground. No sooner than Julian saw them, Woody picked up Davis, Dennis picked up Rudolf and all the three fighter started running towards Julian. Louis distracted Julian by fighting him and at the same time, Davis and Dennis ran back to the portal, then Louis also managed to follow them and get back to the portal, then all three of them along with Davis and Rudolf came to the other side of the portal. Then, they managed to close the portal with the help of their new ally, John, The Master Of Magic. They took Davis and Rudolf to their place, the place where they defeated Bat and asked Jan to heal them. Jan accepted and took them to the health room. They thanked John and said Louis to not be afraid of the evils and join their force to demolish them. Louis thought and accepted the offer.

*** TO BE CONTINUED*** in chapter 7...

(Dialogues are not included)

Please reply!~
Thanks!~

[A-Man]

The first few chapters were a bit lacking in terms of building up the personality of the characters. Things as simple as special dialogue boxes for characters can slightly improve that. I liked how Firzen had a special dialogue box at first, but then I noticed the other boxes were replaced completely to what I thought was Firzen's.  There scenes were constantly jumping from a fighting scene to another with less back story. I disliked the way you didn't introduce even the villains, especially Firzen, but instead, you zapped the heroes to their hideouts and had them start fighting. The appearances of Davis and Louis were both so spontaneous. Louis didn't bother with any kind of justification neither did he throw the slightest cue as to why he refused to go with Davis and Rudolf. Why was he fighting in the first place?

There were moments where I thought things weren't out of ordinary, but then later, you clarify they weren't ordinary at all; the scene when Dennis unleashed the super kick combo on Bat in particular. You should've gave Dennis the time to make some remarks before, during or even shortly after he was done to clarify that he went through something that is supposedly strange. You could have, as an alternative, applied graphical and sound FX to emphasize the power or whatever it was with these kicks. Consider putting screen shake effects to have attacks feel more powerful.

Try not to overuse expressions: "You stole my words!". The times you play the music are weird, and sometimes they don't fit at all. Bleach's suspense music followed by Canon in D major? I like the latter, but it felt weird listening to it in a fighting scene. Try to agree on a set of tracks where you'd use for every kind of situation for the rest of the series. 

For a hint, let your targets be more than just the LF2 fans. Don't assume the viewers already know who Firzen and the rest of the cast are.
Overall, I somewhat did enjoy what you did, but there were these things I thought I should mention. Keep doing what you do!

[empirefantasy]

well, but maybe first finnish chapter 5. I usually like lf2 stories and i have the willing to watch your series, but i have some suggestions:

in chapter1 dialogues goes so fast, sometime hard to read. there is no background story, they just say we are going to fight bat and firzen but there is no reason why they are doing so, or why bat is evil. too less objects in screen, there are just some chars in the bg who have dialogues and fight. even in playable lf2 there are more stuff such as knifes and boxes. i recommend to add some more things, let's say any tree in LF or any object any bed,table,idk in SP where they are staying. anime is not interesting, beacouse like i said before it needs more meaning. they just go and fight bat and meet jan there and yet we dont know what is there why jan is there what she does there who is she at all, why bat was there who is he etc. same for firzen and everything else.

I think you have watched LFalpha series and they are so cool and also julian war, chapterI and II maybe even more cool. there has been other lf2 animes in youtube, but usually discontinued. actually i liked very much this one https://www.youtube.com/user/darkbiohazard/videos

[Deep]

The first few chapters were a bit lacking in terms of building up the personality of the characters. Things as simple as special dialogue boxes for characters can slightly improve that. I liked how Firzen had a special dialogue box at first, but then I noticed the other boxes were replaced completely to what I thought was Firzen's.  There scenes were constantly jumping from a fighting scene to another with less back story. I disliked the way you didn't introduce even the villains, especially Firzen, but instead, you zapped the heroes to their hideouts and had them start fighting. The appearances of Davis and Louis were both so spontaneous. Louis didn't bother with any kind of justification neither did he throw the slightest cue as to why he refused to go with Davis and Rudolf. Why was he fighting in the first place?

There were moments where I thought things weren't out of ordinary, but then later, you clarify they weren't ordinary at all; the scene when Dennis unleashed the super kick combo on Bat in particular. You should've gave Dennis the time to make some remarks before, during or even shortly after he was done to clarify that he went through something that is supposedly strange. You could have, as an alternative, applied graphical and sound FX to emphasize the power or whatever it was with these kicks. Consider putting screen shake effects to have attacks feel more powerful.

Try not to overuse expressions: "You stole my words!". The times you play the music are weird, and sometimes they don't fit at all. Bleach's suspense music followed by Canon in D major? I like the latter, but it felt weird listening to it in a fighting scene. Try to agree on a set of tracks where you'd use for every kind of situation for the rest of the series. 

For a hint, let your targets be more than just the LF2 fans. Don't assume the viewers already know who Firzen and the rest of the cast are.
Overall, I somewhat did enjoy what you did, but there were these things I thought I should mention. Keep doing what you do!

Thanks for the critics, I know that I skipped most of the story letting the viewer think 'what it actually is?'. I thought about that before, and then I thought that I'll make a chapter with barely any fight, that chapter will include the stories of everyone being told by their first competitors. (like story of Firzen by Davis, story of Bat by Woody, Dennis etc...)
And talking about dialogue boxes, I now think that I will made particular boxes for everyone. About the music and stuff, I will still consider myself as an animation noob, so that's somewhat hard for me to find and pick up the right song, I'll try to improve that for sure!
-Thanks again!

well, but maybe first finnish chapter 5. I usually like lf2 stories and i have the willing to watch your series, but i have some suggestions:

in chapter1 dialogues goes so fast, sometime hard to read. there is no background story, they just say we are going to fight bat and firzen but there is no reason why they are doing so, or why bat is evil. too less objects in screen, there are just some chars in the bg who have dialogues and fight. even in playable lf2 there are more stuff such as knifes and boxes. i recommend to add some more things, let's say any tree in LF or any object any bed,table,idk in SP where they are staying. anime is not interesting, beacouse like i said before it needs more meaning. they just go and fight bat and meet jan there and yet we dont know what is there why jan is there what she does there who is she at all, why bat was there who is he etc. same for firzen and everything else.

I think you have watched LFalpha series and they are so cool and also julian war, chapterI and II maybe even more cool. there has been other lf2 animes in youtube, but usually discontinued. actually i liked very much this one https://www.youtube.com/user/darkbiohazard/videos

Chapter 5 is already out.
My reply to the suggestions are the same as my reply to Doctor A's post.
And talking about extra stuff on the screen, you gave a great suggestion, thanks for that!
For that dialogues being too fast, I tried to improve them in next chapters. But, now people ask me to fasten them up, lol
I saw the videos of DarkBioHazard, that really some unique story, I can't come up with that creativity. (But I will try)

[eplipswich]

Chapter 5 is already out.

I only see Ch. 1 to 4 in the YouTube link that you posted, though. Unless Gad's comic is Ch. 5?

[A-Man]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q83PEGrmhUQ
It may be blocked in your country in which case you will need to use a proxy.

[Deep]

Hmm. Even I can't open that unless I am logged in as my LFV channel. It says "This video contains contents from WMG who blocked it in your country.".
Any suggestions on how to fix that? WMG is  a music group, I think.

[A-Man]

If it's a music band, then you've probably violated a copyright. The obvious thing to do is to replace their music with something else and re-upload.

[Deep]

The only 3 soundtracks I used:
 An unfortunate fate
 Youkai Gakuen
 Cold Blood

All of them are extracted from games or anime. Please search if any one of these belongs to WMG. I can't find that, maybe, I am mistaken.

EDIT: Oh, looks like the 3rd one is causing problems, I'll try re-uploading the video without that soundtrack. Thanks.

---

EDIT 2: Re-uploaded. Hope there's no problem now.
https://youtu.be/kuS7hm_sL20

[empirefantasy]

yea ch5 was much better keep working on animes xD