Poll: Whos The Main Hero?
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Louis
100.00%
1 100.00%
Davis
0%
0 0%
Total 1 vote(s) 100%
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Adventure of Louis
#4
- I can still see grammatical errors.
- I do appraise the plot, the names could be better. Dark Forest sounds bit too generic for my liking.
- I think speech passages should be placed in line breaks. Eg:
Quote:Davis: blablablub
Louis: blablablub
Davis: ^%&*(#
Louis: heh
- A space should be added after every period (fullstop).
- Use more punctuation, commas, quotation marks, semicolon, etc.
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Thanks given by: AmadisLFE


Messages In This Thread
Adventure of Louis - by AmadisLFE - 07-20-2013, 04:15 PM
RE: Louise's adventure - by Bla bla bla 44 - 07-20-2013, 07:42 PM
RE: Louise's adventure - by Dr. Time - 07-21-2013, 03:25 AM
RE: Adventure of Louis - by Electric2Shock - 07-21-2013, 03:16 PM



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