Little Fighter: Calm Before the Storm

[Reaper]

I'm sorry for this off-topic post, but it's a little bit too big for a modnotice.

@klodasmone:
I have never called Divisors story itself generic and if it came across like that, then I really apologize for that (which is directed to Divisor, though). Maybe you have a rather harsh definition of "generic" and "popular" or "typical" would have fit better.
In fact, I really, really liked the story, but I've read Divisors other stories and expected something this good, which is why I am not bothering to list everything that was great about it. I found parts of it absolutely outstanding (which I did say), but not the same parts you liked best. I'm acknowledging that the story is good, even great. However, that doesn't mean that it shouldn't be critized at all.
I won't disagree with you if you say my first story was generic. You might have noticed that I've written it quite some time ago, as well as most of my other stories I've published here. If you didn't like my other stories that's fine with me as well, though I would not mind hearing the reasons for that. I'm very well aware of the fact that my stories have quite some weaknesses and I'm trying to improve in those areas.
I never claimed to be perfect, I didn't even claim to be better than any person in particular. I never claimed that I was right, either. You say "Viva la free speech!". What about looking in the mirror then? I even bother to put emphasis on the fact that everything I say is my very own opinion, something nobody else has to share. Don't you think you're stubborn yourself if you don't let me have an opinion different from yours? You make it sound like there was a "right" and a "wrong" opinion which I consider Hightlighted for emphasis, because nobody seems to notice those phrases one of the worst attitudes one can have.
I don't know how others think about the parts I comment on. But you're not the only one reading literature on a daily basis and I know that I've read the part

»I am afraid I do ask questions. At least one, thata is.«
»And what would that question be.«
»How much?«

in a similar wording by far more than once. Same goes for the

notably happier with his purse being much heavier.

as well as the one or the other phrase in the "Louis" Chapter.
I'm not even calling it bad. It's the behaviour you'd expect and it totally makes sense that people (at least sometimes) behave how you expect them to do. Nevertheless, there is apparently at least one person who has heard this phrase quite a few times before. Now, is that a bad thing? Hell no! You positively remarked how some scenes reminded you of the one or the other book. Maybe that even was what Divisor was going for. But if not, it doesn't hurt knowing that they do. Different people might find it good or bad and I consider it useful for a writer to know about it so he can deliberately decide whether to go for this effect or not.
This is all I wanted to do. I wanted to tell him: "These scenes sound familiar to me. If you wanted to go for that then keep it, otherwise you might want to take a look at it." This and nothing else.

Now, this became a lot longer than I thought, but I felt like the issue needed some kind of clarification. If you want to discuss the matter further, I'd be very happy to receive a PM from you as I don't intend to completely hijack Divisors thread.

[Divisor]

I really appreciate both your reviews, and I also understand that you do not agree on certain things. We're all different, aren't we?

@The generic/typical/already seen stuff
Most of it is intentional, as one-liners and phrases are needed to make people more interested and entertained by the story. There could be some unintentional stuff, but I'm leaving it as it is.

Anyway,

Rudolf

The assassin was pleased, when he finally put the mountainous landscape behind him and continued across the Great Fields. He needed about four days to cross the mountains that protected the Frostlands from southern invaders, but he still had a long way to go until reaching his goal. He hoped to reach Tai Hom Village before dusk, so he wouldn’t have to sleep outdoors again. Although the villagers did not like strangers visiting the town, Rudolf had enough money to convince them to give him a place to sleep. He understood their reluctance though: Tai Hom Village experienced enough blood and gore during the war. The imperial forces used the village as a starting point for launching invasions in the Coastlands, but after the latter convinced Frostlands to join their side, the Empire needed to redirect some of their forces to the north, anticipating an attack from the northerners. But the Coastland army did one thing the Empire did not expect: they stormed the village head-on. The imperial forces were still numerous enough to not let the allied army overwhelm them, which in turn caused one of, if not the most bloody battle in the whole war.
Looks like I need to be proud I participated too. Rudolf fought in the war on Coastlands’ side, but he was already a mercenary back then. If the Empire had paid me more, I’d have switched sides without any hesitation. Oh well, I guess I’m lucky I chose the winning side. And by offering his services to Lord Freeze, he chose the winning side once more. But this time it would be permanent. This is my last job. After that, I’ll retire somewhere. Somewhere warm and…southern. I could buy a palace in Heatlands. Lord Rudolf. I like the sound of that.
After traveling for a few more hours, he could already see the Tai Hom Village on the horizon. On horseback, it did not take long to reach it. He was glad to see that the village was successfully rebuilt: he still remembered seeing houses in flames, soldiers fighting on the streets and villagers running around in a desperate attempt to save their lives. Now, the village looked like any other, without any sign of the catastrophe seven years ago. The people, however, still remember. And crimes, commited by both armies, will never be forgotten here. He rode through the streets, until he reached a suitable inn to spend the night. When he entered, the people went silent. They were following him with their eyes as he went to the bar.
“Can I help you, stranger?” the innkeeper said, with discomfort evident from his voice.
“I need a bed. One night, then I’m gone.”
“Aye. Follow me.”
The man showed Rudolf to his room, and then left without saying a word. He clearly wants to have as little to do with me as possible. Oh well, it’s not like I want attention either. He sat on the bed, taking his two katana out of the sheath. The swords were long, thin and shiny. And clean. So clean. Cleaner than any human being. He held one against the window, watching the light reflect from the blade. I apologize. Soon, I’ll have to stain you again. He checked the rest of his equipment: sharp 4-pointed throwing stars, throwing knives, two daggers and a hidden blade in his sleeve. He carefully cleaned one after one: he was a professional after all. After taking care of the weapons, he took out a map. So, Tai Hom Village, check. Next is Lion Forest. And after that… He smiled.
The Great Wall of Heatlands.

[Divisor]

Louis

The Supreme General walked into the command center. Another war was inevitable, and he needed to check the Rocklands’ military power. Highest ranking officers were waiting in the control room, filled with maps: the biggest one was on a huge table in the middle of the room.
Officers stood up and saluted the General when he walked in.
“At ease.” Louis said, allowing the men to sit down. “All right people, talk to me.”
“The city defenses are standing by,” the captain of the City Guard said. “I had men build some extra trebuchets, just in case.”
Louis nodded, and turned towards the artillery captain.
“We currently have about seventy catapults at our disposal, plus about twenty portable trebuchets.”
“Battering rams?” Louis asked.
“No less than fifteen, sir.”
“Good. How the professional troops, captain?”
“We currently manage five thousand professional soldiers” the captain replied.”All are ready for action.”
“And Rocklands’ feudal lords?”
“If every feudal lord answers the call, we can raise an army between thirty and fifty thousand,” the captain reported “but I suspect some of them might need some persuading. After what happened five years ago, some lords are not too keen of going to war again.”
“You don’t need to worry about that,” Louis smirked “I’ll see that they have enough reasons to join our cause.”
He carefully debriefed the rest of the officers, and then moved to the next phase of their meeting: tactical plans. Louis knew that in the worst case scenario all the three countries would connect against them, like five years before. Coastlands would need to be dealt with first: they could muster the biggest military force among all countries on the continent. Frostlands and Heatlands had smaller armies, but they were not to be underestimated as well. Heatlands had the Great Wall, a massive defense structure that could take months to breach. Frostlands, on the other hand, had natural defenses: steep mountains on the southern border and cold climate, which could decimate a whole army if taken lightly.
“Battling all three countries on three different fronts won’t give us an advantage.” Louis said. “If we can get at least one country not to join the alliance, we could gain the upper hand.”
“Well, I’d bet my arms and legs that Coastlands would join sides with Heatlands,” one of the captains remarked “though I’m not so sure about Frostlands. They would join whatever side they believe to win in the end. I any way, it would be sure nice to know what our enemies are planning.”
“If you ask me, they have already started preparing for war,” another officer replied “Lord John wasn’t exactly subtle with whatever he is doing. They know we are planning something.”
Trust me, you don't want to know what he's doing. Well, I couldn't tell him even if I wanted to. Lord John was clear: he mustn’t tell a living soul about his doings, until the preparations were ready.
“We will soon find out” he said instead “I have already sent a spy to Longshore. I expect the results in a few days.”
“That’s settled then,” a captain said “but what of the Frostlands?”
“We will send a messenger to Lord Freeze. Maybe we can convince him to stay out of the fight this time. It will be a lot easier to deal with him when we have Coastlands and Heatlands under our rule.”
“That’s a wise move, but I suspect Coastlands or Heatlands of doing the same.”
“It is already taken care of. Any travelers to Frostlands would eventually pass the Tai Hom Village, since travel by sea is not possible anymore. I informed Deep and his mercenaries that messengers from our enemies might stop there. He will see that they never reach Frostlands.”

[Divisor]

Henry

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Henry entered the Chairman’s office.
“Close the door, Henry.”
After the archer shut the door closed, the Chairman finally spoke.
“We have a leak.”
“I’m sorry?”
“There is a spy among our people.” The Chairman handed Henry a paper scroll. It was a report from the intelligence officers, claiming someone has been spying on the war meetings. There was no description of the culprit, just witness reports that a “shady” man has been seen around restricted areas.
“Find him.” The Chairman told Henry after he finished reading. “We cannot go to war until we make sure our plans are well secured.”
“Easier said than done. The report doesn’t provide any clues on who this spy might be. How I am supposed to find someone who can be…well…anyone?”
“Think of something. You’re my best man.” The Chairman stood up. “That would be all.”
Henry nodded and left the room. Think of something. Damn him. When he stepped outside the City Hall, Mark was already waiting.
“Everything all right?”
“I wish. It looks like we have an impostor.”
“How do you want to proceed?”
“Gather the squad. Tell nobody else. We’ll meet at the headquarters, I need to check something..”
“Right.” Mark hurried down the street. Training did him well. He’s a different man now. Henry walked towards the nearest inn. The innkeeper is always the most informed man. Chances are, he knows about this “spy”. When he entered, the barman was cleaning some stained bowls.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked when noticing Henry. The latter leaned across the bar and whispered: “Back door. Now.” The innkeeper didn’t say a word, but still followed Henry in the back.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“I’m looking for a certain someone. Have you noticed anyone…strange lately? Someone who doesn’t…fit in?”
“Now that you mention it…there was a man hanging around a lot recently. He comes in at dusk, drinks a beer or two and then suddenly disappears.”
“Disappears?”
“Indeed. It’s really weird…and scary. One time, he was drinking outside. When I took away his glass, he ordered another drink. When I came back, however, he was gone. All I saw was a flock of bats, flying away.”
“Bats?”
“Yeah. Like I said, weird and spooky.”
“Thank you. You’ve been very helpful.”
“No problem, captain.”
Henry left the inn and went towards the City Guard Main building, where the headquarters were located. Bats. Yeah, that’s him all right. Never thought I’d meet him again, but I guess life is full of surprises. He now knew who was he dealing with, but he could not decide whether to be satisfied or worried.
Mark and his men were waiting for him in the conference room, eager to hear Henry’s instructions.
“It took you long enough, captain.” One of the guardsmen greeted him.
“It paid off,” Henry replied while sitting down “I now know who we’re dealing with. Did Mark brief you lot?”
The men nodded. “Whoever this spy is, he picked a wrong city to infiltrate.” another guard said.
“I’m afraid it won’t be so easy.”
“But you just said you know who the spy is.” The soldier looked confused.
“And that’s exactly why it won’t be easy.” Henry paused for a moment to get his men’s attention, and then continued. “They call him ‘Bat’.”
“Bat? Never heard of him.”
“Few people know about him, and that’s why he’s so successful in what he does.”
“And how do you know it’s him?” Mark asked.
Henry told them about his conversation with the innkeeper.
“Wherever he is, bats seem to be around too. Hence the nickname ‘Bat’.” He said after finishing the story.
“So, what do we do?”
The only thing we can, when it comes to him. Henry stood up and reached for his bow. “We follow the bats.”

[drako]

You have written a very interesting story!!But don't you think you should continue writing?Hey don't worry if you made a mistake i'll remind you about it.

[Divisor]

You have written a very interesting story!!But don't you think you should continue writing?

And what makes you think I finished writing?

[klodasmone]

That was one lulzy chapter, very different from the previous ones. Of course, I laugh now, but, as the creator of the Batman: Arkham Asylum comic did, you can do Bat justice and whip the smirks of us commoners, if it's... turned into a comic?

[Divisor]

After a (long) hiatus, the saga continues!

Woody

As soon as he saw the arrow piercing the tent, he rushed outside. He's always been a fragile sleeper: even the faintest noises could wake him up sometimes. Because of that, he wasn't at all suprised when Dennis's shout made a quick end to his sweet dreams. Damn him, what the hell is he yelling for? He pulled himself out of his blanket in order to crawl out of the tent and see what the fuss was all about, but after seeing the arrow he immediately knew what was happening outside. When he got outside, Dennis and Davis were already fighting two attackers, meanwhile others tried to burn their tents, torches in hand. Woody wasted no time. He jumped on his hands and pushed his legs up to deliver a spinning kick to one of the men. He hit him in the stomach: the attacker grunted and fell down. Woody finished him with another kick in the face, and afterwards turned to fight a new foe. This one, he brought to the ground with a powerful lounge, just in time to prevent him of lighting one of the tents on fire. The third attacker was running towards him, a blade shining in his hand. I can't fight this one hand-to-hand, Woody knew. Instead, he focused all of his energy into his feet and body, until it started to glow in a bright red color. A heartbeat later, he was already dashing against his oponnent. The foe couldn't even react in time, in less than a second he was already lying incapacitated on the ground. Useful as always.
Tiger Dash, his ancestors had called this move. It was said to Woody that their family had tiger blood in them, as Davis' supposedly had dragon's. Woody couldn't figure out how a tiger's blood would get inside a man, but he nevertheless trusted in these abilities. And they have never failed him in return.
As he was done with the last foe, he had time to look around. Dennis was almost finished, he was just delivering speed kicks to one of the men. Woody also saw Davis finishing up an attacker with his famous Dragon Punch, but when he landed on the ground, another scavenger sneaked behind him and hit him with a stone or something similar. »NO!« Woody shouted and rushed to help his friend. Davis grunted and fell on the ground meanwhile his attacker drew his dagger. Woody dashed ahead with legs in front, shoving the man onto the ground. He then crawled to aid Davis, lying on the floor with his eyes closed.
»How is he?!« Dennis shouted from behind.
Woody checked his companion's pulse.
»Still alive. Probably just comatose.« Woody sighed in relief.
»Right. Let's take him inside.« Dennis grabbed his arms.

[prince_freeza]

awesome, i can totally imagine the fight in my mind.. Nice writing style divisor.

[LSwarley]

id say ur texts r well written =p in the contrary i write what comes out of my mind and that can be trash xD i edit them like 100 times before im happy with it and they still dont reach the lvl of urs ^^
actually i started to sign up because i read ur story (also could be cause it was the latest one xD)
and wanted to post something like that ._. good to see that ur writing again! xD

(srry for grammar but im too lazy to look over my posts or to get used to use the right grammer =p)