The 8-ball-Guru

[no one]

Question: Am I a pervert?
Guru's answer: Don't bet on it.

Question: Should I kill MH and BP?
Guru's answer: Yes.

[Boop]

Question: Will I get an A* in maths?
Guru's answer: All sources are pointing to: YES.

[TheNave]

Question: Hmm...
Guru's answer: There are some things that are better be left untold...
Question: That wasn't even a question!
Guru's answer: It is certain.
Question: That wasn't a question aswell.
Guru's answer: Concentrate and ask again.
Question: That wasn't a question aswell.
Guru's answer: You retard! You just asked this question!
Question: Duh! But I should ask again '
Guru's answer: It is certain.
Question: You answered 2 times the same thing! Ha!
Guru's answer: Are you kidding?
Question: Seriously not, I just saw it...
Guru's answer: All sources are pointing to: NO.
Question: Yes I did!
Guru's answer: I will tell you when you are old enough to hear it.
Question: What the hell...?
Guru's answer: All sources are pointing to: YES.
Question: That makes no sense...
Guru's answer: As I see it, yes.
Question: DAMN, NO!
Guru's answer: No. By the way; do you know the game? You just lost it.
Question: What game?
Guru's answer: Outlook good.
Question: Do you make fun of me?
Guru's answer: Definitely no.
Question: '
Guru's answer: There are some things that are better be left untold...
Question: Stop that sh*t
Guru's answer: Most likely.
Question: So... let's start asking you smthing...
Guru's answer: Concentrate and ask again.
Question: Does Blue Phoenix's 8Ball-Guru answer like a piece of sh*t?
Guru's answer: Very doubtful.
Question: Damn you, smart answer...
Guru's answer: It is decidedly so.
Question: I'm going to stop talking to you now!
Guru's answer: My reply is no.
Question: Yes, I will!
Guru's answer: Yes.
Question: Yes...
Guru's answer: You may rely on it.
Question: pff
Guru's answer: As I see it, yes.
Question: cya
Guru's answer: Outlook good.

[sadbhav]

doesn't work for me. the IRC doesn't work for me either :/

[no one]

You need to have flash installed to view this.

And no, he didn't wrote this directly. press reply and you'll see.

[Reaper]

am I awake?
very doubtful
so am I sleeping?
all sources are pointing to yes
isn't that crap?
most likely.
am I still sleeping?
all sources are pointing to yes
when will I awake? ( ah, mistake)
don't count on it
(correcting) when will I wake up?
how comes that you even ask?
I don't know, why?
Yes.
???
it is certain

Edit:
when I think that you think that I think that BP has made a very good programm, am I right?
don't count on it.
are you thinking of yourself that you would think of me that I am stupid if you would know me?
it is decidely so.

[Silverthorn]

You need to have flash installed to view this.

And no, he didn't wrote this directly. press reply and you'll see.

Actually, he's supposed to see it. Hmm, darn html :P

[Beasty]

Question: What is the answer to it all?
Guru's answer: Forget about it.
Question: Why?
Guru's answer: Yes.
Question: That's not an answer!
Guru's answer: All sources are pointing to: YES.

[Reaper]

I am bigger than god, more satanistic then the devil, those who are poor possess me, those who are rich need me and if you eat me, you will die.
Who am I?
Guru's answer: All sources are pointing to: NO.
that was nearly correct

what is the answer to the universe, the life and everything?
you really don't want to know that.

42!!!
what is the question to 42?
Outlook bad.
@beasty: He was answering that to you, too

[Ascor]

Question: blah
Guru's answer: My reply is no.