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03-10-2011, 06:51 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-10-2011, 06:53 PM by empirefantasy.)
(03-10-2011, 12:26 PM)oliveryungo Wrote: Okay I understood like...20%...
Yes, key point to writing stories-make sure the reader can understand.
The ones that bamboozled me the most-
""LEGENDARY STANLEY PRISON" kept a lot of good peoples which was against this statement."
"hunters stayed everywhere because they was so much etc..."
"on that mountain they they lived sometimes ago"
I totally did not get those. And of course random grammatical errors, etc, etc, blablabla....
Oh, and the extensive use of capitals is somewhat annoying.
""LEGENDARY STANLEY PRISON" kept a lot of good peoples which was against this statement." Means that a lot of good peoples were imprisoned.The reason was that they was against Firzen.
"hunters stayed everywhere because they was so much etc..."
means that:hunters and bandits lived everywhere.BBandits and hunters was so much in number.
"on that mountain they they lived sometimes ago"
Some months ago they lived in that muontain.
(03-10-2011, 02:27 PM)Divisor Wrote: @empirefantasy
You thanked my post, but didn't bother to read it?
Well, let me sum it up for you:
tl; dr version
Your grammar sucks, the story isn't bad but your writing style makes it zero understandable. If you want to continue your writing, improve your English skills.
Yes I have read it.
I have to write maybe 10 chapters.
I am thinking to continue it after some(3-4) months.What do you think about that?