Yay, phil is back. Now we will get some wonderful stories to read.
Somehow everybody is posting his stories atm. I can't start with my new char because I read so much
.
So what can I say? Its a very nice beginning, I can imagine the world around them very good... You made some mistakes with the tenses( you sometimes used simple past) and you used "the moon" as a beginning for a sentence twice without another beginning between them( and three times "The")... But its very easy to read so I don't care that much.
Quick! Go on. I want to read the first chapter!
Btw. lol I thought you wanted to write in present tense. And laughed at "lol she is going to die"
Somehow everybody is posting his stories atm. I can't start with my new char because I read so much

So what can I say? Its a very nice beginning, I can imagine the world around them very good... You made some mistakes with the tenses( you sometimes used simple past) and you used "the moon" as a beginning for a sentence twice without another beginning between them( and three times "The")... But its very easy to read so I don't care that much.
Quick! Go on. I want to read the first chapter!

Btw. lol I thought you wanted to write in present tense. And laughed at "lol she is going to die"