You: Hi!
Stranger: hey there!
You: Want to play a game where we try to make the other person leave by making the conversation extremely awkward?
Stranger: OMG yes!
You: Alright, cool
Stranger: the last person said this
"you ticklish?"
"you like foot rubs?"
"footjobs?"
You: Do you want to volunteer for a practical joke I'm playing on a friend? Your assistance would be greatly appreciated. Don't worry, we already have the moose, hot air balloon, and lube.
Stranger: XD
You: lol, that's funny
Stranger: yea, I stayed with that convo until I couldn't take it anymore
You: You need interesting conversation like you need a dolphin penis to the face.
You: ...Soon.
Stranger: oh yes. I do. veeeeeery soon.
You: o.O Touche
Stranger: indeed
You: Verily!
You: Hmm. It would appear that we are at an impasse.
Stranger: did you know there is a disease that makes a Vagina fall out?
You: Didn't know it worked that way :P
You: What's left over afterwards?
You: Aside from crying.
Stranger: idk
wait
my friend says that's actually legit
Stranger: *wikipedia*
You: That's pretty freaky.
You: But, such is life.
You: And my pants.
Stranger: life in your pants: the musical
You: There's a party in my pants... Don't crash it.
Stranger: Ok, i won't
You: Aww
You: Then who's going to make the balloon animals
Stranger: oh, so I'm invited? in that case....
You: No
Stranger: SAD DAY
You: I'll hire a clown or something. :/
You: How's your dolphin penis to the face coming along?
Stranger: don't trust the clowns! you don;t know what diseases they have
Stranger: still haven't found a willing dolphin
Stranger: of course I don't know many
You: Dress like a dolphin trainer.
Stranger: good plan
You: A SLUTTY dolphin trainer.
Stranger: I'm on it
Stranger: OH GOD, it IS true
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prolapse
You: Oh dear god no.
Stranger: that changes everything
You: EVERYTHING.
Stranger: life. it is so different
You: I miss the days before the prolapse
You: Life was so gay.
You: (Happy)
Stranger: ah, the good old days...
You: What's that in the sky!?! ONOZ! A total prolapse of the sun!
Stranger: AHHHHH!
Stranger: *flails arms wildly*
You: What're we gonna do?! The sh*t has hit the fan! and the ionosphere!
Stranger: well, a world with prolapse is not a world I wanna live in
Stranger: i'm ok with this
You: A country divided against itself cannot prolapse.
Stranger: that's it! in a time of crisis the only thing to do is make puns
Stranger: !!!
You: The solution has become the problem has become the walrus.
Stranger: googoogajoo
You: I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together!
You: And they are the eggmen.
Stranger: oooh!
Stranger: See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.
Stranger: I've been a naughty girl, I let my knickers down
Stranger: i am the eggman woooo... … they are the eggmen woooo... … i am the walrus …
goo-goo ga joob!
You: If a guy sleeps with 5 women, he's a playah. If a woman does the same thing...
You: ...she's a lesbian.
Stranger: truth
Stranger: what it's only 4 women tho???
You: Case in point: The dolphin trainer.
Stranger: that I'm pretending to be
Stranger: ...
You: Which one?
Stranger: the slutty one
You: Yeah, but which dolphin trainer? I know of 2 slutty ones
You: And they're both me.
Stranger: EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW!
You: And the butler did it.
Stranger: in the library?
You: And he is the eggman.
Stranger: with the candlestick?!
You: No. In the bathroom. WITH HIS BARE HANDS.
You: And some TP
Stranger: GASP
You: And he forgot to flush afterwards
Stranger: aw, party foul, egg man
You: I mean really, wtf kinda butler is that?
You: Sorry to poop on your party.
Stranger: hahaha. that's punny.
Stranger: :P
You: Of course, which is worse? That, or to party on your poop?
Stranger: uhh, that's a tought call
You: In Soviet grammar, Sentence russia's you!
Stranger: i disagree
2 camels in a tiny car
Stranger: your argument is invalid
You: My hair is longer than most people's entire body.
You: Except on Tuesdays.
Stranger: my body is longer than most people's hair
....except on wednesdays
You: I, too, am the walrus.
Stranger: I've figured it out! I;m obviously chatting with bono
Stranger: no one else is the walrus AND a slutty dolphin trainer
You: Getting mistaken for Bono is nice.
You: Don't you know? EVERYONE is the walrus!
Stranger: MINDFUCK
You: Or at least, that was the case in the 60's
Stranger: truth
You: Also, rosebud was the name of the sled.
Stranger: spoiler alert!
You: *shuts eyes*
Stranger:
http://xkcd.com/109/
Stranger: haHA!
You: yay xkcd!
Stranger: best site evar!
You: snape kills trinity with rosebud!
You: didn't even need to go to the site to remember that
Stranger: winner.
Stranger:
http://theinternetisterrible.com/wp-cont...h-five.jpg
You: Do you know of Schrodinger's cat?
Stranger: yea
You: Then it's probably dead.
You: I blame you.
Stranger: no! the cat's out of the bag!
Stranger: *hides*
You: Then maybe it escaped the poison...?
Stranger: perhaps
You: Or maybe the radioactive isotope mutated it!
You: O.O
Stranger: INTO A TERRIBLE M
Stranger: MONSTER CAT BEAST
Stranger: THAT PRESSESENTER PREMATURELY!
Stranger: I AM THE CAT
You: Monster half-dead/half-alive cat beast
Stranger:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_JF9lM8aks4g/Sr...ast_sm.jpg
You: I am still the walrus. And as you know, walri eat cats.
You: RAAAR!
Stranger: REOOOW!
You: Bring it!
Stranger: oh yea, walrus?! let's take this outside!!
Stranger: <goes outside>
You: Verbal abuse: Punch!
Stranger: monster cat shoots lasers from it's eyes
it's super effective!
You: I deflect it wit a buckit!
You: It hits bambi.
Stranger: OH NO BAMBI! go on, go join you mother in heaven
Stranger: oh wait.... bambi's mom didn't go to heaven
You: No... She lusted for Thumper.
Stranger: that's the story disney SHOULD have told
You: The greatest story ever told!
Stranger: lets pitch the idea to disney!
Stranger: awaaay!
You: Also they all died before the story began.
You: They're ghosts, but they don't know yet
Stranger: and the sixth sense is actually a rip off of it
You: One thing that's always bothered me about that movie is this:
You: Even if it did exist and we could see dead people,
You: it still wouldn't be a SIXTH sense because it's still just vision!
Stranger: ahhh, so true
You: Brb, I'm going to drink water laced with cayenne pepper for health benefits.
Stranger: doesn't sound sketchy at all....
You: back
Stranger: awesomeness
You: it burns!
Stranger: *fake choking sounds*
You: *eyes truly watering*
Stranger: oh dear
You: It's actually really healthy though
You: Gets the blood flowing
Stranger: totally worth it
You: Yes.
You: You get used to the heat after a couple days
Stranger: because cayenne pepper leads to badassery
You: Yes.
Stranger: obviously
You: Also, it's been used to wake people up...
You: After they've had heart attacks.
Stranger: cool stuff!
Stranger: it's clearly magical
You: Depends on your definition of magick
Stranger: it's a pretty loose definition
Stranger: cuz magic is cool
Stranger: and more things should be cool
You: Yup.
You: Cayenne pepper is one of the few things that, while being awesome, will NEVER be cool.
Stranger: no. not ever. never.
You: Look up the benefits of cayenne pepper, and maybe start drinking it!
You: It's healthy... and entertaining!
Stranger: i think i should and then when ppl ask why I'll say "well, a stranger on omegle told me too. oh and it's magical"
You: "it's magical"
You: Your words, not mine
Stranger: they don't need to know that
You: Lol
Stranger: shhhhh it's a secret
You: What? That you're a dolphinofile? I already knew that, silly.
Stranger: oh yea, I forgot
Stranger: you don't need to tell anyone about that though
Stranger: really, you don't
You: Sure I do! How else can dolphinophiles like you form a support group?
Stranger: dolphinophiles anonymous
Stranger: it'll be a hugh hit
Stranger: *huge
You: But that assumes that there's something wrong with finophilia
Stranger: not hugh
You: o.O I'm worried that the computer didn't autocorrect that one
Stranger: theres nothing wrong! I don't have a problem, i tell ya!
Stranger: my computer has a thing for hugh jackman
Stranger: clearly
You: It told me that dolphinophilia was misspelled, but finophilia is apparently a word o.O
You: Hugh Jackman?
You: Does he have fins?
Stranger: i sure hope so.....
You: Don't we all...
Stranger: THAT should be a group
You: Uh oh...
You: I think my desktop computer is going through a tunne.
You: *tunnel
You: I might lose you.
Stranger: oh noes!!!!
You: So
You: lets
You: take
You: this
You: time
You: to say