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LF - Davis' reign of chaos
#1
well, as I sometimes get bored by spriting, I started to write an own story( did the first 4 chapters + prologue, but I won't post all of them at once.)
Ok, my first try on an own story.
Could be sometimes a bit weird as I'm not English, but I'll try my best.
I also started this as a GIF, but after the first 193 pictures I realized, that it's too much work. And I wasn't very good.
However I'll post some short extracts.
So:
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#2
good story but chapter 1 is short.

and the gifs are very fast.
Feel free to check out My Sprites
"A mistake is simply another way of doing things."
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#3
Very nice written and awesome idea to make gifs. Also the gifs are nice! GJ keep on workin!
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#4
well... let me give an comment in detail:
i like your writing style..
but!

your chapter should be a little bit longer.. look at an chapter from an book and you know what i mean.. also the story is missing some depth.
try to make paragraphs.. makes it easier for us to read.
other than that its a cool story.... try out some of my suggestions.. it will make it even better ;)
[sig placeholder until my new sig is finished]
should totally allow people to be all trolley on their birthday :D
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#5
i'd like to, but unfortunately my story is nearly finished( As the minion is dead, they are in the castle... Just the bossfight and a funny ending closing the circle( I've already done that) are missing.) :D However I'll try it and probably I'll also make a new story, longer and with more depth. This is just a first try( but I have to work on my reaperchar too.)
Anyway thanks for commenting it.
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#6
oh, nearly forgot this thread.
Anyway, I think I should end that story. I will probably start a new, longer one after I finished my char.
Here the end is:
Chapter seven:
Suddenly an army of sorcerers turned up from behind. Their staffs were glowing.
“Wait!” Freeze screamed.” Why do you want to kill me?”
“Because you are fighting against the dark lord. Anyone who fights against...”
“the dark lord must die. Yes, I already know. But why? He killed John, the man you once believed in.”
“We can't know to where his ways lead. We aren't dignified to doubt what he says. His word is the rule. How can we doubt what he says?”
“So thats what happened to you? Your leader gets killed and everything you say is “We can't judge about it.”? That is what your once so proud order became? I can't believe it... Your just a couple of cabbages waiting for being beheaded. Have you lost your ability to think for yourself? What happened to your ideals?”
“Well, kill me then. What am I expecting in a world like this? Where nobody trusts his own mind? Where the mans you thought of as friends destroy everything you wants fought for?”
“What are you waiting for? Kill me and then watch this world going down.”
(O my god, so theatrical. But its funny to write something like that. *atmosphere destroying*)
The sorcerers looked uncertain. Everyone waited for somebody to say something. It was strange for them not to have a leader.
Then after some time one of them took a few steps forward and said:
“Stand up, Freeze. I don't know what happened and I don't know how to excuse, but you opened our eyes. I have no idea how this could happen, but we will do our best to compensate our mistakes.
Come on, to the throne hall.”

So now we still need the standard ending. Here it is:

While Freeze convinced the sorcerers, Rudolf, Bandit and Deep already entered the throne hall. And there he was. Davis stood directly in front of them. But something changed. His eyes taxed them with hate and dark flames were burning in them.
He didn't seem like wanting to speak with them. All of the sudden he attacked Rudolf. In the last moment he was able to get out of the way. The fighters tried to attack him, but a big explosion pushed them away.
“Mwahaha. How do you want to kill me? You can't even get near to me.”
“Are you sure?”, Deep said, “I bet we can.”
They looked each other into the eye, but nobody showed any kind of movement. Suddenly Rudolf came form behind. Davis just created a shield around him and Rudolf flew back.
“Fools. Why are you still trying? You can't beat me.”
He turned to Deep again.
“You all are just annoying me. Now die.”
A dark ball came nearer and nearer to Deep. He looked into it. It was completely dark. The darkness became bigger and bigger, darker and darker until it filled the whole world. He used his last seconds to admire it and waited for the explosion... as Rudolf jumped in front of him. Suddenly the world came back and he saw Rudolf sinking down. As fast as he could he ran to him.
“So whats now? Got we quits now?” was the last thing he could say.
With a scream Deep stood up and ran to Davis. However Davis just stood there, waiting. A few inches in front of his head, deep's sword broke.
“Haven't you understood yet? You can't beat me. See it as a change to get to know the next world. Now...”
Then the wall next to Davis burst. Behind it an army of sorcerers appeared, with Freeze in front of them.
The last thing they saw from Davis was a dark flame rising to the air, then his dead body lied on the ground.
As soon as possible they left the castle.
For those you don't like it when the good ones are dying: Rudolf is still alive.
Epilogue:
One night in the forbidden castle. Candles threw the only lights sporadically on the walls when a deep shadow approached Davis' dead body. Two scary blue eyes in a dark cape looked down to the body. „Well Davis, didn't I said to you that...”
“Wait. I won't make the same mistake again.”
“Two dark, thin hands with long fingers closed the book.
The man reading looked up and the children could look into two scary blue eyes.
“So what does this story tells us? That people fighting for something good will always defeat the evil one's. And that there will always be a happy end.”
“But don't believe in that. Sooner or later, I'll get everyone. Mwhahaha.”
And the reaper disappeared. But didn't he said that there are many stories to tell? Maybe he will come back one time. After he finished himself as a LF2-char.
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#7
*Ahem* Yeah, short story.
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#8
well, I didn't want to start with a long one as I don't want to have a stupid beginning for my long one. So I started with this to try out.
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#9
okay.. thats a short one.. thing is.. i have seen potential in this one.. yeah but you wasted it. .wish you good luck next time
~closed & unstickied ~ Phil
[sig placeholder until my new sig is finished]
should totally allow people to be all trolley on their birthday :D
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