Noob/Newbie Moments

[LutiChris]

Yeah just got bored since no one wasn't online...
All ya hafta do is post your newbie moment here...
is ur still confused ur a dumbass ~ jk
(All you hafta do is post in what you thought was newbish, stupid, funny, and clumsy of ur self in any shape or form...)
In real life, or online...
doesn't really matter...
as long as it's real...

[Elias]

Well a day ago I tried to open my locker but after a girl that has a locker besides me told that I tried to open the wrong one.

[Magnamancy]

Oh the stories I could tell... lol

...
And here's one I prepared earlier
It chronicles a particular part of a game, known as Resident Evil 4...

(may contain mild scary themes and/or swearing, idk I havn't read it in
a bit... The silly part being deciding that the first house was a good
idea )

Caution! Contains spoilers for the game RE4 (Click to View)

I reach the tree outside a village and hide behind it, using my
binoculars. My health was decent, and I had some 30 rounds of
handgun amo still.
I see the village is full of 'people', but they are not what they appear,
as they a little more than mindless zombies, thanks to a parasite, and
are now collectively refered to as Ganados.

I picked off one or two from a distance with the gun, and then one
raises the alarm. Knowing there was tracks around the village that the
Ganados could flank me from, I shot my way towards the middle of the
village, so I could find a more defendable position.
I'm down to some ~12-14 rounds, and my brother pipes up, "Hey, why
don't you try hiding in that house?" "Which one?" I responded, and he
points to the last one in the row on the left "That one, the shotgun's in
there isn't it?"

I manage to get into the house, and a cutscene starts. Leon, the
character I'm playing as, tries to figure out why the villagers are so
hostile, and then he looks out of a window/slit. Spying the Ganados
begining to seige the house from outside, he pushes a nearby drawer in
front of the door.
Before he can think twice, however, he hears something.
"What the? A chainsaw? ... sh*t."

The cutscene ends and I bolt upstairs, knowing where the shotty's
kept, and I rip it from the wall to find (thank god) it's got 6 rounds in it.
I rush back downstairs to check out the doors condition, and it's still in
one piece.
The wood covering the window on the other wall is not.
I shoot through a Ganado that had tried to block the stairs off with my
handgun, but just I think that all I need to do is hold the stairs as I
reach the top of them, lady Ganado breaks through the upper level
glass window.

I turn my focus to the window only to hear something that properly
scared me, Chainsaw-man, Dr. Salvador, was on the bottom floor,
revving up his death-machine.

I shot him full in the face with the shotgun as he tried to rush up the
stairs and he fell halfway back. I knew this wasn't nearly enough,
though, and fought my way back towards the now-broken glass
window, walking backwards and shotgunning Dr. Salvador as he kept
chasing me.
The Ganados were eating up my handgun ammo, and I realised that
had just one round in my shotty left, as a pitchfrork-Ganado attacks
through the window behind me. I recover, flip around, and finish him off
with the last of my handgun ammo, and jump through the window onto
the roof outside.

Finding the roof to be otherwise deserted, I back up to the edge and
used the last of my healing items.
Dr. Salvador had reached the window, and as he tried to get through, I
let loose the last shotgun round at my disposal into that bag-
encased head of his. He went down, and I felt a wave of relief as his
chainsaw died for good.
This ended as quickly as it had begun as more Ganados appeared at
the window.

I jump from the roof onto the ground below to by some time from the
Ganados attacking the other side of the house, and I make a mad dash
accross the now unforgivingly open area in the middle of the village
towards the houses on the other side. Once behind them, I searched
frenziedly for anything that could help.
No such luck.
Now, realising that all I've got left is a kinda flimsy feeling knife, I'm
begining to panic.
Peering around the corner sees the Ganados slowly closing in on my
position, and I try to assess what I can do to survive. I decide that a
house over the other side of the village may provide a spot where I
can barracade myself in and search for ammo.
The Ganados are getting closer, and in a moment I won't have space
to run.

I sprint from behind the house, the closest Ganados swinging wildly at
me, missing by only a hair's breath. I reach the bonfire in the middle of
the village, and make a b-line for the target house, but before I can
reach the door a Ganado appears from around the corner, lurches
forward, and begins choking the life from me.
I somehow fight him off, my health in the red, and burst through the
house's door.
By some miracle, no Ganados are inside, but there's nothing I can block
the door with, and no stairs to funnel the Ganados into a tight spot
where my knife and I might stand a chance.
I sprint for a set of drawers that may contain something that could
help, but as I do so, I hear the Ganados smash the door open and pour
in behind me.

There was nothing in the drawers. Not even a measly herb.
I back into the corner, my knife out, feeling smaller and smaller as more
and more Ganados enter the room from the open door.

A slash hystericly at the approaching horde, thier menacing eyes
drawing closer...

A cutscene starts.
A churchbell rings, the Ganados stop thier attack, and enter the
church on the far side of the village, leaving Leon alone, breathing
heavily, but alive.

[LutiChris]

I work at REI and it's already been 3 years. I was showing our new coworker how i run the joint but i was acting all clumsy and i nearly knocked over the chocolate stand while i was stocking the snacks. She hid behind the counter and I knew she was laughing. I'm glad i can laugh at myself too

Simoneon edited this post 06-09-2013 06:08 AM because:

Oh man, gross, you're gravedigging