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Light.
#1
[] 
Hi! Firstly i want to say that im a newb at writing!
secondly i easily get bored of a story so please keep me motivated!

Light.

Prolog. Mist i welcome you.

Mino looked out the window.
All he could see was thick, grey mist rolling in over the big park next to his apartment.
"I dont want to go outside today" he thought to himself forming a disappointed face. "It was supposed to be sunshine, I'll have to take the train, driving in this would be suicidal" The thought of going to work was... Repulsive, but not going meant getting yelled at.
"Maybe i can call and tell them i'm sick" he tought, imagining himself with a whimpering voice telling the boss's assistant that he unfortunately couldn't make it.
"No! I cant do that he said to himself"
After some arguing in his head, he decided that going to work probably was the best idea.
"But first i need some tea and a sandwich..."
He put his old teapot on the stove, and poured some water in it.
The teapot actually was passed down from his great, great
grandmother, and was one of his most priced possesions.
He had got his own tea mix of white and black tea, wich he carefully poured down into the now steaming water and let it blend in nicely , while he started to prepare his sandwich.
"I think ill have to wrap it in some paper and eat it on the train" he thought while laying some ham and cheese on it.
Behind him the he heard a light whistling... (i hope that's how you spell it :s ).
He made a small spin and took the teapot from the stove, not wanting it to bubble over the edge, poured the water into a strainer over a cup with a lid.
He looked up quickly. " Ok i need to be at work at nine o'clock,
its thirteen minutes to eight.
The train was going at 08:20 and it took ten minutes to work, running from his apartment to the trainstation took 15 minutes...
"Well all that seems to add up nicely, just need some clothes, i dont want to run out in my boxers haha"
He ran back through his living room and grabbed some clothes.
A few minutes later he came back fully dressed in a tee-shirt and a pair of old jeans.
"Okay there isn't anything i have forgotten now, right?"
Then he took out a small bag out of the cupboard next to the freezer, and put his breakfeast and his shirt (that he had bought for work) into the bag.
Then he made a quick glance over his kitchen, everything was nice and clean.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1. "At the trainstation"


The wind was blowing strong when he arrived at the station.
Mino was shivering slightly as he reached it,
"Wow it's really cold, s'pose it is really turning into fall."
When he got on the train it was packed with people and he would ofcourse have to stand with his face pressed against the chilly window.
"Hah! It could not get any better now." The sarcastic thought made him even more depressed.
"oh well i'll have to survive today" Mino quietly said to himself.
After a couple of stations he found a place to sit and he could relax for a moment.
Suddenly there was a huge bang and the train started shaking.
Most people fell to the floor but a few managed to stand still.
But when the light started flickering the remaining got down to.
Mino got down on his knees closing his eyes in fear.
"I can't get caught! Please don't get caught!" he was trembling now.
"Damn you organisation" was his last thought before passing out.

Someones Mind...


The Organisation was, atleast on the surface, a small group of scientists

who had been experimenting alot on dead bodies.

Using different kinds of life stimulating machines they almost managed

to do it, but when the life of one of the scientist's son was at risk, they

started with living bodies too...
nothing is impossible the impossible just takes a little more time
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Thanks given by: Alblaka
#2
Nice story,but whats thats story idea
Troll mode activated TwistedDemonEvil
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Thanks given by: Yaff
#3
Not exactly any sort of plot yet, but you get a big + for actually using proper Grammar.
My Creations: (Click to View)

Return (String) System.getNewsOfTheDay();
Barely active, expect slow responses. If at all.


Greetz,
Alblaka
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Thanks given by: Yaff
#4
I'll write more and get the plot more together, Thanks for positive feedback!
nothing is impossible the impossible just takes a little more time
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#5
Not bad thus far. Aside from a few misspelled words, its was a very interesting start. I'm a visual learner so I tend to visualize what's going on in the story.
I would ask the same question (what's this about?) but I'd rather just see it play out.
Escape is a two-syllable word that grants temporary peace in the present to a future victim.
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Thanks given by: Yaff
#6
(08-29-2011, 04:49 PM)Zabobula Wrote:  Not bad thus far. Aside from a few misspelled words, its was a very interesting start. I'm a visual learner so I tend to visualize what's going on in the story.
I would ask the same question (what's this about?) but I'd rather just see it play out.

I dont feel like revealing anything yet haha
nothing is impossible the impossible just takes a little more time
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#7
Yeah! It's a nice story.Just avoid spelling mistakes.It's all very nice.
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Thanks given by: Yaff




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