03-26-2011, 07:54 PM
Me likes. A very nice choice of words and some nice figures of speech that help us to get into the story. It also is good to have a bit of an unusual perspective which befits the bizarre situation of waking up in a coffin quite well. (a situation out of which you might have been able to make even more, though. Give us the chance to play with it in our minds. A man finding himself in a coffin in a cathedral with lots of black-dressed people around him. The whole scene, the faces...)
There is not much happening here, but then again that is fine for the beginning of a story.
I still demand a continuation. Now you only made me more curious about the backstory. Don't let me rush you, though.
There is not much happening here, but then again that is fine for the beginning of a story.
I still demand a continuation. Now you only made me more curious about the backstory. Don't let me rush you, though.

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