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04-11-2012, 10:55 AM
let's post something useful
my votes:
BP - The aftermath
story is told from justin's viewpoint, which is new (compared to the generic davis dennis stories). grammar is perfect (or good enough that i didn't stop to re-read). something that bothers me (slightly) is that there's some parts that feel "plunked in". also, the flow kinda breaks where you first have the sorcerers disappearing, then later on you have "before they disappeared, they told me ...". but overall, it made me feel awesome after i read it
empirefantasy - Three heroes
hmm, even though this is a davis-dennis story, and even though the grammar is somewhat crazy, i enjoyed it somehow. perhaps it's because the story structure is all: this happened. then this happened. then this happened. etc. the part about them killing a justin and bringing it to the monk was hilarious, based on my imagination anyway
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Reaper
for Reaper's story, grammar is perfect, and there's a wide range of terminology which is only normally found in good stories. however, the story seemed too long for the scene. i can see your skill in writing (i think it's one of the best from those stories actually), but the plot itself was not attention grabbing enough, and i wasn't left feeling "yay!" after reading it
Phil - An unusual fighter's romance
this story was weird. it didn't really fit the title (actually there's more "romance" between davis and jan), and it kind of lacked a plot (seemed like many different events mushed together). best advice i can give is to go over your own story and read it as a third person (if that's even possible), and judge whether it's something you'd enjoy reading
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keen to hear other people's thoughts
Azriel~
my votes:
BP - The aftermath
story is told from justin's viewpoint, which is new (compared to the generic davis dennis stories). grammar is perfect (or good enough that i didn't stop to re-read). something that bothers me (slightly) is that there's some parts that feel "plunked in". also, the flow kinda breaks where you first have the sorcerers disappearing, then later on you have "before they disappeared, they told me ...". but overall, it made me feel awesome after i read it
empirefantasy - Three heroes
hmm, even though this is a davis-dennis story, and even though the grammar is somewhat crazy, i enjoyed it somehow. perhaps it's because the story structure is all: this happened. then this happened. then this happened. etc. the part about them killing a justin and bringing it to the monk was hilarious, based on my imagination anyway
---
Reaper
for Reaper's story, grammar is perfect, and there's a wide range of terminology which is only normally found in good stories. however, the story seemed too long for the scene. i can see your skill in writing (i think it's one of the best from those stories actually), but the plot itself was not attention grabbing enough, and i wasn't left feeling "yay!" after reading it
Phil - An unusual fighter's romance
this story was weird. it didn't really fit the title (actually there's more "romance" between davis and jan), and it kind of lacked a plot (seemed like many different events mushed together). best advice i can give is to go over your own story and read it as a third person (if that's even possible), and judge whether it's something you'd enjoy reading
---
keen to hear other people's thoughts
Azriel~
![[Image: ZucdcMY.png]](https://i.imgur.com/ZucdcMY.png)