Feelings and issues

[Silverthorn]

I just don't feel like existing anymore, I wanna die ..

Talk to someone. Immediately.
If you don't want to talk to your parents or close relatives, seek professional help. If you are in college... many universities offer some sort of psychosocial counseling. The people there are trained to deal with such cases.


Either way, don't try to chase after girls in the hope they will pull you out of this void. This will not work, I speak from experience. Get your life sorted first, then deal with the rest. The fact that it's November makes me think that your gloominess is partially related to seasons. I don't know how old you are but, as cheesy as this sounds, you will learn to get over it. Maybe not this year, maybe not the next year, maybe not within the next decade. It will, however, get better eventually, even if that simply means that you learn to live with your inner demons.


Don't give a damn about how successful others are, always look after yourself first. If you don't feel like pursuing your hobbies, fine, just do something else. Take a walk outside, call a friend, whatever. The only thing to keep in mind is to stay occupied. Boredom is dangerous, so no matter how mediocre it is, always do something. Give yourself a positive mindset. Lie to yourself. Eventually, you will actually adapt that mindset.


Also, interact with other people. This might sound weird, but it's amazing how much talking to people you have never seen before helps.


But seriously, if everything else fails, seek medical attention.