Little Fighter : Davis Chronicles

[Silverthorn]

Interesting, I'd like to see more! The way you're writing reminds me of screenplays or dramatic scripts. For ease of reading, I suggest adapting them; after all they haven't really changed much since Shakespeare (click, click, and click). With a defined style, you'll also have less trouble defining what should be italicized and what not.

Also, in terms of consistency, is the young boy called "Daniel" or "Daniels"? I've seen both versions several times in this chapter.

Not particularly grammar-thing but something I'd like to point out:

Davis and Daniels also has this serious look. Their Mother confronts the man.

I haven't really gotten the picture what the first sentence is supposed to tell me. Also, the second sentence seems to prepare something quite dramatic (definition of "to confront": to face in hostility or defiance; oppose). Doesn't quite seem to fit there. Also, Hao hasn't been described all too much yet. I'm picky, I know

Nice idea with the sketches scattered inbetween. Are you going to keep this up? Or, even better, switch to pencil and paper... because your strongpoint is definitely with traditional media

Keep it up!