Contest #9: Writing challenge

[Magnamancy]

I don't know how apt I am at judging stories, as I tend to unintentionally
superimpose my own style, but I'll have a look Taniaetc. ^^



... alright, nice. It's pretty coherent, the story is followable and relatable
to an extent, I'd call it a pretty good effort.

As for advice, most prominently, use of paragraphing wouldn't go astray.
Simply breaking the text up into suitable paragraphs would make it much
easier to read.

I could give you an example if you like.