Chat
Discord
05-01-2010, 05:26 PM
Okay I'm rewriting my horrible story.
I hope its okay for you Magnamancy if I copy how you made the beginning look.
THE END muhahaha this took long time to write.
I hope its okay for you Magnamancy if I copy how you made the beginning look.
Yeah this should be better (Click to View)
~~
The sun went down beyond the horizon and painted the landscape
in blood red. Blood! As if he hadn't seen enough of that the
last months.
His glance wandered around on the battlefield. Finally it was
over. After three month, silence came back into the vale for the
first time. But it wasn't a peaceful silence. It was frightening.
He shuddered and was about to go back the way he came from, but
he had to walk to the other side of the valley.
The smell of death normally would have been hardly endurable,
but he got used to it over time. This, however, didn't apply for
the sight presented to him. Dead soldiers of both sides were
lying next to each other, looking at him with empty, vacant eyes,
still clutching their weapons in death. He began to shiver even
more. Involuntarily his hand raised towards a pocket of his vest
and opened it. His fingers fumbled around until he found...
~~
...a napkin was in his pocket and he took it out to clean his sword.
It was stained in blood, in pure red blood from a human flash.
He cleaned his sword and threw the napkin away. He walked amoung
the dead soldiers, still looking at him with empty, lifeless eyes. He got
near a soldier who was wearing cloths similar to his. He put the napkin
in the dead man's hands and said "rest in peace, my friend." He then
turned around and started to walk back to where some man were walking.
The people in front of the man had military uniforms, blue light cloths, with
shoulder protections, and swords buy their sides. Some were ridding with horses
and who road a horse had a long blue/white capes, and spears instead of swords.
All of them stopped except one who started to ride his sword to the man.
"Everyone is dead in here," said the man to the rider. "I'm the only survivor,
the general is also dead, he is over there. About 20 arrows shot him, he survived
the arrows but a spear was thrown in his chest." The rider looked at the field.
"Good work Karus, at least we were able to stop the enemy in such great numbers
but still many man had died, and many good man had died, I guess it is hard to be
a lieutenant. Watch many man die, allies and foes." Then the rider got out of his horse.
"I have a message for the general, but since he died this message goes to you."
The messenger gave him a letter that was rounded like a scroll. The message said
Dear General Lee (if the case that General Lee dies, then this message is for the highest man in command.)
If you got this message then your main mission was a successful one. We have send a some supplies and some small
army to your help. With this message their should be 50 soldiers, 10 horseman, 15 archers, 5 medics, and 20 footman.
More help is coming, but they will arrive in a week, no more. We just ask you to stay in your post and wait for further commands.
Some enemy armies might come in near future, but there are small in numbers so don't worry. About 10 professional assassins
from our army should soon come, they have more information on the further mission for you. For now just rest and wait.
"This is all their is to say in here," asked Karus. "Yes, we were only ordered to help out
the army, but I guess we are now the army, said the rider. They both walked to the small
army force that was send. "This all that is left from the battle, one lieutenant, it could be worse,"
said one of the riders. "Okay now, I'm in command because, the message says so.
If you listen to me we might survive, if you will do what you please than all of us will be dead,
understood." "Yes, sir, yes," said the small army. "Are you sure there is no survivors,"
asked one of the medics. "You want to go and see the field of dead man, trust me, if someone
was alive they would try at least to breath or to speak, I walked for hours before yo came,
no survivors," said Karus in a dark, and lifeless voice.
The army made a camp, there was one large campfire that was made to get some heat and to
cock food. Four soldiers, and Karus were keeping a watch during the night. It was cold, dark,
and moonless night. The only source of light was the campfire. All waited in silence, and they
could only hear the sound of burning wood, nothing else. Karus was pocking the fire with his
sword while the guards were holding on to their spears, feeling tired. After long hours a chilly
breeze came, and all were tired and cold, even Karus. Karus looked around, but it was really dark
to see anything clear, but he did saw some figures moving. He told the guards quietly to be
ready. When the figures came closer Karus could make out who or what they were. The figures
looked a lot like merchants. They had a wagon that was carried by a horse. "Hello their Karis,
long time no see," said one of the merchants. Karus smilled and said, "Ah, Rodey, yes long time
no see. It's strange to see you a merchant." Than Karus showed a sign to the man to calm.
Merchants got closer to the campfire to be fully seen. They wore blue bandanas, and blue light
cloths. They sat near the campfire near Karus. "Who are they lieutenant," asked one of the soldiers.
"They I don't know, but this person I know. He used to be in the army with me but left, because
he wanted more adventure, and being a high commander didn't allow him that, that is why I also
dropped down," said Karus in a sleepy voice. "Who did you used to me lieutenant," asked the same
soldier. "Oh I was a general, but I didn't want to be in charge of an army."
For two days Rodey stayed but then left. On the fourth day of camping something was about to
happen. It was night time. Warmer than the first time and the moon had finally showed. Karus was
on watch this day. He let everyone else rest and stayed alone. He was still pocking the firewood in
the fire with his sword. He heard some noise, noise that sounded like someone walking really carefully.
He looked around without turning his head. He then relaxed, but at the same moment a man jumped
behind him with a sword. He quickly got up and slashed the man before he could touch him, and made
a small burn mark where he cut the man because his sword was lightly burned from the fire. Than three
more man with swords charged at Karus. "Everybody wake up," screamed Karus, while fighting the three
man. All of soldiers got up, but they didn't look at the man who tried to kill Karus, but they faced Karus,
all of them. They got their weapons, but didn't looked like they were going to help him, but they looked
as if Karus was their enemy. Five foot soldiers charged at Karus. He barley killed them. Then the three
unknown enemies attacked Karus, but he was able to kill them. In the end he killed everyone who was in
the camp, all who was trying to kill him. He was out of breath, and breathing very heavy. Than six more
of those man came from behind. He grabbed his sword put the tip of his blade in the fire, and quickly
charged at his enemies. He was able to kill them, all 60 men, 20 foot soldiers, 15 archers, 5 medics,
10 horseman, and 10 who looked like assassins. He then walked around the camp. He found the man who
brought him the message. He saw that he carried another latter. It was said to kill Karus, and that the 10
assassins were to do the job and if the assassins were to fail, that the whole army should kill Karus. Hey couldn't
understand why they wanted to kill him, but then it stroke him. He was a well known in most tactics, and
knew everything their is to know how to defeat any army. Karus had great knowledge to who he served
and he did dropped down, he says that he dropped down because he didn't want to be in command but
everyone else who was in charge of the whole army didn't believe him. They believed that he meant to
betray him, and gain wealth, fame, and anything he wanted from the opposing army.
Karus knew that he will soon has to face about a thousand soldiers by himself. He went to the supply tent
to get oil, arrows, bow, spear, and some dried grass for horses. He then spread the dried grass on the field, and other
things that would be set on fire. He then changed the arrows to be able to be set on fire, and the spears tip he
wrapped in cloths that absorbed oil. He then the rest preparation for the battle.
He waited for the seventh day. He looked at the horizon and saw about a thousand soldiers with spears, bows, swords,
and polearms. They where about 200 meters away from him. "Give up traitor, we know about your skills, but you can't
defeat us, you will end up dying," said the man in charge. "Maybe I will die, but I'll show you to what happens when you
try to kill one of your comrades. You send 60 men to kill me, and they failed, even when I wasn't prepared. So how do you
think this battle will end when I was prepared for a long time," said Karus. "You might kill 20 men, but that is the maximum."
"Well come and see," and so Karus set one arrow on fire and shot it on the middle of the field. The man in charge smilled
but his face turned to shock when he saw the arrow land on dry grass, and whole battlefield was set on fire. Everyone screamed
in pain but Karus was prepared, and wore enough cloths to protect him from the flames. He then got the spear, and charged the
whole army. The spear's tip was set on fire so he easily killed his opponents, and horses. He was barely attacked because everyone
tried to get away from the flames. The flames had died about 15 minutes after the battle had started. Most people were on ground
laying in pain from the burns. Karus already defeated about half the army. He then fought with his burned sword. The battle was
lasting already for an hour and no one was able to kill Karus, but he was already tired and almost out of breath from wearing too
many cloths.
Karus was left with only 100 people. He had his many cloths off, and he was cut many times and had ten arrows on his back.
He then charged at them and......
The sun went down beyond the horizon and painted the landscape
in blood red. Blood! As if he hadn't seen enough of that the
last months.
His glance wandered around on the battlefield. Finally it was
over. After three month, silence came back into the vale for the
first time. But it wasn't a peaceful silence. It was frightening.
He shuddered and was about to go back the way he came from, but
he had to walk to the other side of the valley.
The smell of death normally would have been hardly endurable,
but he got used to it over time. This, however, didn't apply for
the sight presented to him. Dead soldiers of both sides were
lying next to each other, looking at him with empty, vacant eyes,
still clutching their weapons in death. He began to shiver even
more. Involuntarily his hand raised towards a pocket of his vest
and opened it. His fingers fumbled around until he found...
~~
...a napkin was in his pocket and he took it out to clean his sword.
It was stained in blood, in pure red blood from a human flash.
He cleaned his sword and threw the napkin away. He walked amoung
the dead soldiers, still looking at him with empty, lifeless eyes. He got
near a soldier who was wearing cloths similar to his. He put the napkin
in the dead man's hands and said "rest in peace, my friend." He then
turned around and started to walk back to where some man were walking.
The people in front of the man had military uniforms, blue light cloths, with
shoulder protections, and swords buy their sides. Some were ridding with horses
and who road a horse had a long blue/white capes, and spears instead of swords.
All of them stopped except one who started to ride his sword to the man.
"Everyone is dead in here," said the man to the rider. "I'm the only survivor,
the general is also dead, he is over there. About 20 arrows shot him, he survived
the arrows but a spear was thrown in his chest." The rider looked at the field.
"Good work Karus, at least we were able to stop the enemy in such great numbers
but still many man had died, and many good man had died, I guess it is hard to be
a lieutenant. Watch many man die, allies and foes." Then the rider got out of his horse.
"I have a message for the general, but since he died this message goes to you."
The messenger gave him a letter that was rounded like a scroll. The message said
Dear General Lee (if the case that General Lee dies, then this message is for the highest man in command.)
If you got this message then your main mission was a successful one. We have send a some supplies and some small
army to your help. With this message their should be 50 soldiers, 10 horseman, 15 archers, 5 medics, and 20 footman.
More help is coming, but they will arrive in a week, no more. We just ask you to stay in your post and wait for further commands.
Some enemy armies might come in near future, but there are small in numbers so don't worry. About 10 professional assassins
from our army should soon come, they have more information on the further mission for you. For now just rest and wait.
"This is all their is to say in here," asked Karus. "Yes, we were only ordered to help out
the army, but I guess we are now the army, said the rider. They both walked to the small
army force that was send. "This all that is left from the battle, one lieutenant, it could be worse,"
said one of the riders. "Okay now, I'm in command because, the message says so.
If you listen to me we might survive, if you will do what you please than all of us will be dead,
understood." "Yes, sir, yes," said the small army. "Are you sure there is no survivors,"
asked one of the medics. "You want to go and see the field of dead man, trust me, if someone
was alive they would try at least to breath or to speak, I walked for hours before yo came,
no survivors," said Karus in a dark, and lifeless voice.
The army made a camp, there was one large campfire that was made to get some heat and to
cock food. Four soldiers, and Karus were keeping a watch during the night. It was cold, dark,
and moonless night. The only source of light was the campfire. All waited in silence, and they
could only hear the sound of burning wood, nothing else. Karus was pocking the fire with his
sword while the guards were holding on to their spears, feeling tired. After long hours a chilly
breeze came, and all were tired and cold, even Karus. Karus looked around, but it was really dark
to see anything clear, but he did saw some figures moving. He told the guards quietly to be
ready. When the figures came closer Karus could make out who or what they were. The figures
looked a lot like merchants. They had a wagon that was carried by a horse. "Hello their Karis,
long time no see," said one of the merchants. Karus smilled and said, "Ah, Rodey, yes long time
no see. It's strange to see you a merchant." Than Karus showed a sign to the man to calm.
Merchants got closer to the campfire to be fully seen. They wore blue bandanas, and blue light
cloths. They sat near the campfire near Karus. "Who are they lieutenant," asked one of the soldiers.
"They I don't know, but this person I know. He used to be in the army with me but left, because
he wanted more adventure, and being a high commander didn't allow him that, that is why I also
dropped down," said Karus in a sleepy voice. "Who did you used to me lieutenant," asked the same
soldier. "Oh I was a general, but I didn't want to be in charge of an army."
For two days Rodey stayed but then left. On the fourth day of camping something was about to
happen. It was night time. Warmer than the first time and the moon had finally showed. Karus was
on watch this day. He let everyone else rest and stayed alone. He was still pocking the firewood in
the fire with his sword. He heard some noise, noise that sounded like someone walking really carefully.
He looked around without turning his head. He then relaxed, but at the same moment a man jumped
behind him with a sword. He quickly got up and slashed the man before he could touch him, and made
a small burn mark where he cut the man because his sword was lightly burned from the fire. Than three
more man with swords charged at Karus. "Everybody wake up," screamed Karus, while fighting the three
man. All of soldiers got up, but they didn't look at the man who tried to kill Karus, but they faced Karus,
all of them. They got their weapons, but didn't looked like they were going to help him, but they looked
as if Karus was their enemy. Five foot soldiers charged at Karus. He barley killed them. Then the three
unknown enemies attacked Karus, but he was able to kill them. In the end he killed everyone who was in
the camp, all who was trying to kill him. He was out of breath, and breathing very heavy. Than six more
of those man came from behind. He grabbed his sword put the tip of his blade in the fire, and quickly
charged at his enemies. He was able to kill them, all 60 men, 20 foot soldiers, 15 archers, 5 medics,
10 horseman, and 10 who looked like assassins. He then walked around the camp. He found the man who
brought him the message. He saw that he carried another latter. It was said to kill Karus, and that the 10
assassins were to do the job and if the assassins were to fail, that the whole army should kill Karus. Hey couldn't
understand why they wanted to kill him, but then it stroke him. He was a well known in most tactics, and
knew everything their is to know how to defeat any army. Karus had great knowledge to who he served
and he did dropped down, he says that he dropped down because he didn't want to be in command but
everyone else who was in charge of the whole army didn't believe him. They believed that he meant to
betray him, and gain wealth, fame, and anything he wanted from the opposing army.
Karus knew that he will soon has to face about a thousand soldiers by himself. He went to the supply tent
to get oil, arrows, bow, spear, and some dried grass for horses. He then spread the dried grass on the field, and other
things that would be set on fire. He then changed the arrows to be able to be set on fire, and the spears tip he
wrapped in cloths that absorbed oil. He then the rest preparation for the battle.
He waited for the seventh day. He looked at the horizon and saw about a thousand soldiers with spears, bows, swords,
and polearms. They where about 200 meters away from him. "Give up traitor, we know about your skills, but you can't
defeat us, you will end up dying," said the man in charge. "Maybe I will die, but I'll show you to what happens when you
try to kill one of your comrades. You send 60 men to kill me, and they failed, even when I wasn't prepared. So how do you
think this battle will end when I was prepared for a long time," said Karus. "You might kill 20 men, but that is the maximum."
"Well come and see," and so Karus set one arrow on fire and shot it on the middle of the field. The man in charge smilled
but his face turned to shock when he saw the arrow land on dry grass, and whole battlefield was set on fire. Everyone screamed
in pain but Karus was prepared, and wore enough cloths to protect him from the flames. He then got the spear, and charged the
whole army. The spear's tip was set on fire so he easily killed his opponents, and horses. He was barely attacked because everyone
tried to get away from the flames. The flames had died about 15 minutes after the battle had started. Most people were on ground
laying in pain from the burns. Karus already defeated about half the army. He then fought with his burned sword. The battle was
lasting already for an hour and no one was able to kill Karus, but he was already tired and almost out of breath from wearing too
many cloths.
Karus was left with only 100 people. He had his many cloths off, and he was cut many times and had ten arrows on his back.
He then charged at them and......
I am back, not really.