Oliver's short stories

[oliveryungo]

Weird random stories shall be posted here!

LF2 Prologue (Click to View)

Evil is a force, like gravity. It just exists. It is a part of the universe, to counteract good. It maintains balance in the cosmos. However, decades ago, it inexplicably gained a mind of its own. It was now able to think, to plan, to make decisions. And so it constructed itself a form- a form that struck terror in the hearts of all who saw it. In time, a name was given to the bulky, monstrous form it had taken- Julian.
Julian destroys. It is what he exists to do, his sole purpose. And in time, he had recruited thousands of people who follow the path of evil. For them, Julian was their god. And in a sense, he was. Being a force of the universe, he possessed unimaginable power. Using his army, he conquered most of the world as people know it, and ruling it with a savage dictatorship. Only a small faction of warriors, those who were strong enough to survive the onslaught of Julian’s army, existed beyond his control. They were the elite. They dedicated themselves to protecting what little left of freedom that existed in their world. And to today, they fight. They pit themselves against the never-ending waves of enemies, knowing that there is hope as long as there is one last fool who believes that Julian will be ousted from power, one way or the other.

Duck of Great Justice (Click to View)

Alectric thudded down on the ground next to yrks1948. Before the bot could even turn, the Moderator whipped his hand forward, which was already carrying Duckscalibur. The bot disintegrated on contact with the Holy Duck weapon. The bot’s signature, which was advertising as usual, was also crushed by Duckscalibur.
Reaper appeared next to Alectric.
The Duckpire Lord grinned. “Sizzle! That’s what happens to bot links” he said, his cheesy grin widening even further.
Reaper sighed, exasperated and obviously tired of his random and supposedly epic speeches.
“Aw, don’t give me that face. Look!” Alectric struck a pose which suspiciously resembled one of Superman’s. “Heroic pose!” he said rather unnecessarily.
“POW!” he continued, punching an invisible enemy with his hand.
“You are absolutely pathetic” said Reaper.
“You’re just jealous that you can’t do such an awesome pose. Duckez has the burn powerz now!” he replied, swinging Duckscalibur around randomly.
Reaper sighed again and vanished.

Dark Days of LFE (Click to View)

Thunder boomed ahead for the 426th time in the past few hours. A huge storm had enveloped LFE, producing torrential rain, frequent lightning strikes and seemingly perpetual darkness. Users scurried around, trying to do their business quick and get the hell out of LFE. Taniaetc was one of them. As she finished posting her newest sprites, she prepared to log out, but suddenly another user appeared in front of her. She took a step back in surprise. The stranger began to advance menacingly towards her.
“There is no escape. There is no escape. Vipsem2046 has you now” the user taunted. It extended a deformed hand holding a gleaming knife towards the panicking Taniaetc.
She tried darting towards the left to escape her attacker, but Vipsem2046 easily sidestepped and once again blocked her path.
"Trying to escape. Bad. Bad" it said, then lunged forward.
Taniaetc ducked, but not quickly enough. The knife tore through fabric and opened a fair-sized cut on her shoulder.
She yelped in pain and instinctively held a hand to her shoulder stem the bleeding.
“Your guard down. You finished” Vipsem2046 said, and brought down the knife on the helpless Taniaetc.
A lightning bolt struck the building next to them, blinding both temporarily. However, Taniaetc realized if she was blinded, so would her attacker, and lashed out with a foot. By sheer luck, it managed to find its target, and there was a heavy thud as her foot landed hard on Vipsem2046’s stomach.
Her aggressor flailed and reeled backwards from the blow. Straight into a hooded figure that wasn’t there moments ago.
The new arrival shoved Vipsem2046 out of the way, and held out a hand. A very sharp and unfriendly scythe materialized in his outstretched hand.
Muttering some indistinguishable words, the newcomer raised his scythe, which was now glowing softly. With a final word, the light from his scythe intensified and Vipsem2046 doubled over. It began to convulse, obviously in pain, before letting out a scream and being literally torn apart by an unseen force.
Taniaetc backed up against the wall, but the stranger did not move. There was a long pause.
She decided if the stranger really wanted to turn that rather nasty scythe on her, he would have done it long ago.
“Who are you?” asked Taniaetc breathlessly.
“I could tell you a million things about myself, but it wouldn’t make you any wiser” her savior replied.
There was an ominous silence, making the rain hammering against the ground and the repeated thunder louder than ever.
“This kind of weather does not bode well” said the hooded figure. “Beware, Taniaetc. And be prepared.”
Her rescuer stepped into a pool of shadow and sank out of sight. Just before he completely disappeared, he addressed her for the last time.
“For even the great Reaper cannot be everywhere at once.”
And Taniaetc was alone with the remains of Vipsem2046, rain pouring down all around her.

[Divisor]

Wow...you have a way with words, don't you?

I really liked the thoughts about evil in the beginning, it fits perfectly. However, I'd like to see some elaborating on how that evil became Julian.
Basicly, I want you to explain the inexplicable

Other than that, I really like it.

[oliveryungo]

If there's one thing I completely fail at, it's making up a plot. The current story I'm working on is actually based on something I dreamed, and it's not too good a plot. Unfortunately, it's only about 5% (or even less) done, and it's still 1500 words. This is going to be looong.
Anyway, a probably nutcasey idea on how Julian formed-

Julian blah (Click to View)

The being feared and revered throughout the world came to be a few decades ago. In that time, the land was plagued with corruption (China) and injustice (China). Ruthless dictators (China) warred with one another just because they wanted to show who's boss. Of course, the end result was usually that the two or more fighting empires weakened themselves so badly that another nation easily took over due to their exhausted soldiers and limited resources. With the defeated lords' heirs swearing revenge on their suppressors, a seemingly endless chain of hate began. Empires rose and fell in a matter or months. However, because of the constant conflict, evil outweighed good by far, disrupting the balance of the universe. With so much evil, the universe spat out the personification of evil-Julian.

Blah, blah, blah, I know the descriptions don't fit perfectly well together, but whatever.

[Reaper]

The first part is very nice, somehow. A bit pathetic from time to time (I'm not talking about the first few sentences, I really like those), but nice nonetheless. A little grammar error: ...and ruling it with a savage dictatorship.
The second part would be good standing alone, but it just doesn't really befit the first one. First of all, it's somewhere between humorous and zynic (China) instead of dark and pathetic. Second of all, you've described Julian as the universal evil but here he seems to be just an evil, the evil of this conflict. China is just so small compared to the universe...
tl;dr: Good story, but try to more or less stick to a special style for the story. Some parts can be more funny, some can be rather dark, but the reader should feel them as a whole.

[oliveryungo]

I did say in previous post that the description of Julian in that post differs from the one in my first one. Heck, I was absolutely bored, and had 10 minutes to kill before I needed to do something, so I wrote this thingy. The China bit- well, I was using it as an example. But I generally like a bit of humor in my works. Grammar error-Damn, I didn't see that. That's more proof that Word is worthless. Also, I said that the second bit was 'nutcasey'. It means 'spontaneous writing' in my terms, so don't take the second bit seriously. I wrote the second bit in half the time (an unbelievable 5 minutes!!).
Now, I need another idea for a story...hrm....

Reaper edited this post 07-22-2010 12:13 PM because:

^No problem with humor. What I ment is that the humor then should be in the story continuously. Oh, you can leave the and there, but then it has to be "ruled..." And didn't know about nutcasey. I took it too serious then. Well, just don't take my post too serious and we are square.

[Divisor]

Now, I need another idea for a story...hrm....

Epilogue?
Each hero's backstory?

[oliveryungo]

Well, yeah, but as I said, I need at least a backbone for me to write anything, not just a vague idea
I think I'll start writing something non-LF2 related until I come up with something (or you guys out there come up with something).
So basically, instead of 'Char prologue', I need something along the lines of 'He does this, blah blah, he is a blah blah, he does this because of that, blah blah'. And I (hopefully) will be able to develop on that. My originality sucks bad.
Waiting for Somin to give permission to put another story I made...

Simoneon edited this post 08-14-2010 09:37 AM because:

you have my permission ;D your stories are awesome! Keep it up!

[oliveryungo]

I saw Alec leave another message on a bot's siggy and I decided to make another short story. From now on, other mini-stories will also be posted here. No, the LFE chronicles is not considered short (at least not by me).

[Alectric]

i lol'd

SPAM!!!

that's how i would act in real life too!

Reaper edited this post 08-15-2010 04:28 PM because:

Don't let it die!!!!! http://www.lf-empire.de/forum/member.php...e&uid=2907

[Ascor]

"Time Spent Online: 10 Seconds"
Holy sh*t that was fast...