The World Ends With You [the story]

[Elias]

This is a game play from a game The Worlds Ends With You but I want to make more like a story then the game so most of the things I will written will be mine idea some the games but lots of people did on there story because it talks about LF so here is the story.

Day one Shiki (Click to View)

My name is Neku. I don't understand people always with conflict, noise, and hatred. Why can't they just go to hell away. The world only needs me, I got my value so keep yours alright.

Huh, where am I. Huh, what is that pin in my hand. It's all black and has a weird white skull design. I tossed and then cached it, immediately after I cached the pin every thing froze and I heard voices but not just any voices it was thoughts of people. Ware the hell did this pin come from.Then some one phone ringed and it was mine and it had a mail it said 'Reach 104. You have 60 minutes.Fail, and face erasure.-The Reapers.' Oh, that's cute.See ya, spam. Deleted. Huh? still there it's like a junk mail from hell.Oww! My hand. Then a timer appeared on my hand.
Also on the Plaza TV it said 'YOU HAVE SEVEN DAYS'.

It was really weird but then I saw frogs with weird looking legs and they started to attack me, why do they want from me, then I said "D-down froggie." I screamed to people but they ignored me.So, my only option was to ran away, but they started to chase me. So I ran even faster like my life depended on me (which is was).

I ran to another street that had a dog statue. I thought it was safe but it wasn't because people ware attacked by those frogs and killed. Suddenly a girl my age came out of no where. She said "Found one! You! Forge a pact with me!" "Uhh.. I've kinda got my hands full..." "Listen! If we forge a pact, we can beat the Noise!" "Who cares about a little noise?" " You wanna be erased? Hurry up! There's no time! Make a pact with me! Please!" "A-all right! I accept." Soon some light appear over us like a light show or something. Then she gave me a pin and told me to use it. The pin had a weird flame on it. Later the noise attacked and I used the pin and burned them all. That was weird and I said " That fire...I did that!? Whoa! You can use the pin?" " You must be really good at psychs. Guess I found the right partner, huh?" "That's what you call those flames? A psych?" " Yup. And now that we've made a pact, the Noise won't come after us!" "In other words, we're safe." Right. See? All gone." " All gone. So.. what are Noise?" "They're those monsters we just fought. Duh." Monsters? Uh, sure... And "psychs"? Is that what this pin is for? I though to my self. "Anyway, where are my manners? My name's Shiki Misaki. Call me Shiki." I call this whack." We've got a long week ahead of us!" " A week? Week of what?" " The Reapers' Game is seven days long, right?" Reapers? Excuse me? Who is this flake? " So what's your name?" Forget her.. Where am I? How did I get here? " C'mon, tell me your name." The sign says " Shibuya Station"... Why am I in Shibuya? " Something wrong?" Wait.. The intersection. I just need to retrace my steps. " Hey, whoa... Wait for me!!!"

I went back but she followed me I said " Why are you following me!?" " Why are you making yourself so hard to follow?" " Srcew you. I go where I want." " Go where? We're trapped in here!" What? Don't be stupid." "You're the one being stupid. We made a pact. We're supposed to stick together! You can't beat the Noise alone. You can't survive!" " survive what?" "The Game. Did you saw what happened to those people, do you want that to happen to you. Besides, we're partners. Partners work together." " Now way! Don't make me part of this." " You're already a part of this. You're a Player, just like me." " A what? I'm not playing anything." " Oh yeah? Then why do you have a Player Pin? Don't you have a timer on your hand? I do..." " What. The. Hell." " See, you're part of the Reapers' Game, too." " We don't have time for this! The clock's ticking! We've only got 20 minutes! Let's hurry to Ten-Four!" "'Ten-Four'? what's that?" " Ten-Four! 104? You got the mail, right?'Reach 104 or face erasure.'" " That junk mail..." Please. What kind of nut would believe that? Then again... This day has been pretty weird. And she's gonna follow me anyway.......May as well go along and try to figure this out. " All right, you win. Lead the way." " Good. Now, for the last time... Tell me your name." "....Neku. Neku Sakuraba." " Neku, huh? Cute name." Shut up. " All right, Neku. Let's get over to 104!" We ran to 104 and suddenly I hit a wall. " It's blocked! There's no way past!" " We can't get through!? But this is the way to Ten-Four" Why do I fell like I'm being watched? That guy over there. That guy over there. What's he starting at?" Then Shiki walked through the wall? " Neku it's opened." " What's up with that?" " No idea. A lucky break, I guess! C'mon, we gotta keep ,moving." Something about that guy in red... Huh? Where did he go? Weird. Then at ten-four the timer on our hands vanished. " Whew! Mission complete." "Pfft, big deal." Shiki and me heard some one else voice." What!?" " Only an idiot would screw up on Day 1." Who's there!?" " Oh, no... A Reaper?" " Reaper..." " You Two are gonna get erased sooner or later. So come on. Help a girl out and earn me a few extra points, 'K?" Then the Noise came out again and we had to fight them. Later a bigger Noise appeared but we killed him. "Whew... We did it... But you heard her... Day one is nothing. What if the missions only get harder? We've got six more days... Are we gonna make it? I...I don't want to be erased..." I can't believe this... Why am I stuck here? What if I'm erased? What the hell kind of game is this? This can't be right. Gaaah! I'm really stuck here? In Shibuya!?

Day One
The Reapers' Game

Okay that's was chapter one. I hope this story is better than the last one and I think so.
Also if you want to see the game trailer here it is The World Ends With You. But my computer can't open for some reason so that's all also more chapters will be wriiten but it will take some time.

[Reaper]

ok, lets see. its written quite good, although its a bit confusing. What is a noise in your story? Ok, monsters but what are they looking like? And would there be someone saying "make a pact with me!"?
The length is also quite good, but if you make a dialogue, start in a new line if the speaker switches. That makes it a lot easier to follow. I think its also a good idea to write a few things about whats happening around them while they are talking. That makes it easier to imagine the situation.
I have only seen a few spelling mistakes, so another + . some sentences weren't easy to follow, but it wasn't that hard.

You Two are gonna get erased sooner or later

I laughed at that one. Wasn't that funny, but in my first story the reaper often said "Sooner or later, I'll get everyone."

So don't really know what else to say. Its a nice beginning and if you use the enter-key a bit more often and write a bit more about whats happening around them, it will be much easier to understand, too.
Good luck.

[Elias]

What is a noise in your story?

Okay I will post the chat in this story because lots of times people don't describe them so here their are.

The World Ends With You [char (Click to View)

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This is Joshua, he will be Neku's partner on second week.

This is Beat and he will be Neku's partner on third week.

This is Uzuki(on the right) and Koki(on the right)
Their are Reapers that summon noise and fight players on day 7 or on emergency call.

This is the first Game Master.
When he transforms into noise he is big and buffed.

She is the last Game Master and her noise form is hard to defeat
because she hinds in white darkness.Also people call her Iron Maidens.

This is Minamimoto, he is the second Game Master and his is a math wizz. Also he summons taboo noise, there are black and attack everybody including Reapers. Also when he transforms into his Noise form he is taboo Noise.

Neku, the star of the game. He is a powerful psych and fan of CAT.

This is support Reapers they mostly do nothing just open walls and some times attack you.

The second person in command of the Game. He controls part of Reapers' Game but in the game the whole and wants to change the Shibuya by mind control.

Rhyme, Beats sister but forgot every thing in the Reapers' Game.

Shiki, you probably know her if you read in the story.
Also go on this page to find about Noise.

[LutiChris]

Make sure to say who the person is talking to
and fix grammer too if possible
overall i sorta like it. but i still don't get it. It's like all of a sudden it's to the climax or rising action or something, idk my opinion...

[Elias]

Make sure to say who the person is talking to
and fix grammer too if possible
overall i sorta like it. but i still don't get it. It's like all of a sudden it's to the climax or rising action or something, idk my opinion...

Yeah, the story is confusing in begging, because I try to write it kinda of out of the game and it's confusing too.

[The Lost Global Mod]

~closed on request